Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Grandparents that spoil and refuse to ease off a little.

Everytime my daughter comes back from my parents house, she has this spoiled little attitude and demands everything from us. Normally she does her own thing and says please and thank you and gives us no problem, except when she comes back from spending the night with my parents. Ive talked to them about it and told them not to spoil her so much, but they say that its their "job" to spoil and for me to get over it. She is 2 and shes in that terrible stage, but it takes us a couple of days to get her back to normal so to say. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jul. 20, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Tell them she can't stay the night, if they can't respect you enough to follow your guidlines with your child.
    kookiekayla

    Answer by kookiekayla at 12:00 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • I don't think any grandparent would object to instilling manners into the life of a young child. Be as cautious as you can about it. Try not to refer to it as spoiling because it seems every grandparent has a God-given right to spoiling their grandchildren!! I wouldn't threaten them with her not being able to spend the night. It might turn around and bite you in the butt! Talk nicely and calmly with them about the behavior you expect from your child and ask them to please respect that. I'm sure they don't want their precious granchild in trouble at daycare because she is unruly with her wants and demands. No matter how your parents are with her, she is going to be a little unlike herself. It comes from the change of scenery.... Did you ever go on a daytrip with her when she was a baby and the next day she slept more than usual? It's kind of the same thing. I hope this helps a little. Good luck.
    lilkitti

    Answer by lilkitti at 12:11 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • spoiling is okay ... it is okay to spoil a LITTLE bit. but to the point that its their JOB is a little much. If it is causing problems at home then they should respect your wishes. And i totally agree with kookiekayla. dont let her stay the night there if they cant do as you wish!
    CassieLee85

    Answer by CassieLee85 at 12:25 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • tell her that unless she can agree to be her normal good self before she goes, she's not going. and enforce it. if she comes back like that, dont' let her go next time. put your foot down. its hard to stand up to your parents, but you're her parent and that relationship should come first.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 2:05 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • We taled to both sets of grandparents. We expaind to them that if the kids came home completely out of control that that would be it for a while. We don't expect the grandparent to be as hard on them as we are but we do ask that they enforce certain rules.
    redtang912

    Answer by redtang912 at 11:30 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • There's another thing to consider: toddlers thrive on routine. If they've been away from you for a couple of days, it'll take at least a couple of days to get back into the swing of things. I waited until my daughter was three before letting her stay the night at her grandparents' house.. Unless they are causing her harm (ie: physical, emotional or mental..) then you are better to just talk with them about how horrible she acts.. maybe see if they've got any advice (don't you LOVE how they LOVE to give advice when you DON'T ask for it??) on how to handle the situation. Maybe by trying to solve the problem together, they'll realize their behavior is CAUSING some of the problem. Good luck!
    CreativeSpirit

    Answer by CreativeSpirit at 1:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • I agree with some of the others. If, after talking to them calmly about it, they still won't respect your wishes as a parent, then don't let her stay overnight. Let her go for the day and see how long it takes her to get back on track after a shorter visit.
    romeece

    Answer by romeece at 2:03 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • I have the same problem, but bf's parents buy my child everything they see, he has multiples of toys just because they forgot he already had that one! it is very upsetting and i understand where you are coming from! I myself have spoken to the also and nothing changed and they actually kinda told me the same thing they told you , that it was there "job"! but after awhile I ended the visits for a little while and explained to them that until they respect me and my rules they would be able to spend time with him!
    manders_2207

    Answer by manders_2207 at 3:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • Don't let her spend the night. Have yard sales and benefit from all the stuff she is being bought, and so she is not overloaded with toys/ stuff.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:08 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • Refuse to let your parents have her overnight or for long periods of time.
    isaboo22

    Answer by isaboo22 at 1:31 PM on Jul. 23, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN