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At about what do preteen boys figure out what happens when he plays too often with his "thing"

He's 10 . I feel like this is happening too soon. Should I start interviewing counselors?

 
JackieBudnick

Asked by JackieBudnick at 10:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • Um...no. Masterbation is a totally natural thing for kids to do. My advice to you is just stay calm about it and let him know if he wants to entertain himself to do it in the privacy of his room at night in bed.
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 10:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • No...that's a perfectly normal age. I have 4 boys, and they all started around 9-11. I wouldn't worry about it. It's normal and healthy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Yes I would say he needs to do it if he is going to do it in the privacy of his room. He needs to be discreet. He doesn't need a therapist for something that is natural. Unless he's an exhibisionist then that could be a cause for therapists.I know you are not feeling ready for this because 10 years seems to fly by when you look back!
    summerray5

    Answer by summerray5 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I've learned to knock on their bedroom doors first.....lol
    It's normal and no he doesn't need a counselor. From the first moment they touch it a lifelong obsession begins....funny ~ but ~ true : )
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 11:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • This is not normal tell him to stop) it's nasty,And besides don't you want him to have a great life and not be a person that does things to other people.He has his whole life a head of him.He should wait to explore with his wife.
    MrsRKP7

    Answer by MrsRKP7 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I'd just tell him to make sure he does it in private. Doing it too much? I don't think there is such a thing. Masturbation feels good and ppl like doing it. It gives them some sort of control in their life. It's perfectly natural. Why would he need a therapist? A therapist would probably laugh at you and send you home. ...after he/she took your money of course!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:12 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I agree privacy is the answer and education. For us to tell them not to do it is telling them to go ahead. They just need to now the boundries. it is when they break them then you need to be concerned.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 1:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • WTF MrsRKP7?! Telling him it's nasty and might hurt people if he continues will send him to therapy for sure! It's a natural thing every boy goes through. I'm sure we would all rather they didn't but who are we to mess with nature? As long as he's not doing it in public!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Yeah, I totally don't agree about telling him it's a bad thing. Like everyone else said as long as he's doing it in private and not touching others inappropriately, then he's just a developing boy trying to figure his body out. Don't make it bigger than it needs to be.
    kicknscreamn222

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 8:30 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I thought boys sort of started that at birth! Some girls too, but it sometimes takes them longer to find it.....I think it is completely normal unless it is literally taking over his life! Make sure he has other things to do. I wouldn't be concerned unless he was literally turning down opportunities to do fun things in favor of doing that. He needs to understand privacy.... Does he seem obsessive about it or something like that? Are there other issues right now? For you to be so concerned, I am wondering what is really happening here.....Do you see it as a moral issue or do you see it as something that is taking too much of his time? Is he doing it in school or in public? Is he shutting out other people and things? If so, you do have a reason to be concerned, but if not, it is normal.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:34 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

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