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4 Bumps

Venting: My ex's wife says they shouldn't have to pay money they don't have and that their kids should come first

Me and my ex have two kids together, he is remarried (as am I ) and he has 2 kids with his new wife. His wife stopped working after she had their first child, he was just fired (apparently, he was calling off too much) and so now they are living off of his unemployment. He called to tell me that the child support won't be coming until he gets a new job and they get back on their feet. He said that our kids have both of us, his kids have only his income so they should come first, I think that's crap because his child support only covers his half of providing for them and his wife could get a job too. But anyway, I know I am not going to get blood from a turnip so I said, that's fine but reminded him he will have to pay back what he gets behind on eventually (the court order specifically says this and it also says that for a change in income to affect child support, that change has to be in effect for 6 months.). His ex wife called and said he shouldn't ever have to pay the child support he misses because he isn't making the money, I said that doesn't matter, his kids have to eat whether or not he makes money. I told her not to call me anymore, that this is none of her concern.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on May. 11, 2012 in Money & Work

Answers (15)
  • Youre right. Don't worry about her, she sounds ignorant

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 7:36 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I missed the question.

    Answer by iwicked at 7:36 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I said in the headline it was a vent......

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:37 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • Women get territorial over provisions. She wants her children to come before yours, its natural. Just hold your ground, she knows you're right. 


    Answer by Farrahann at 8:00 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • Not that its your concern but he should contact the court to get a reduction in child support. Never discuss child support with the new spouse so you did the right thing by telling her what you did.

    Answer by meooma at 8:10 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • meooma, he can't get a reduction in child support until it has been 6 months since his income has changed

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:13 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I didn't know that. Must be a new way to do things then...I learn something new everyday on CM.

    Answer by meooma at 8:17 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • It must be Friday

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • Well it isnt up to you anyway, If you go though child support enforcement (and I think all women should to keep these convos to a min) then it would be up to them. He could petition to lower his support if he has fallen on hard times. People do it all the time. But when she married him and quit her job she knew he had this obligation. I would simply tell her financial issues are not something you will discuss with her since they have nothing to do with her as far as you can tell. The child support was ordered on your childrens father, not her, and she knew going in he had those financial obligations.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:55 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I think you need to call your lawyer and inform him/her of the situation,, was his pay being deducted from his paycheck, or was he sending you money without a court order? I would say his new wife knew he had kid when she married him, and sounds like a ninny! That being said, in the current situation if you and your husband can take care of the kids, it is a very nice thing to do, but make sure that you are going to get the tax deduction this year (I don't know if you all take turns or not) sorry momma.

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:56 AM on May. 11, 2012

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