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Should it bother me he's talking to another woman?

DH keeps getting text messages in the evening. I asked him casually who it is and he ignores me. One night he leaves his phone in the bedroom and it gets the better of me and I sneak a look. Its a female friend of his. I didn't read the messages though. They've been friends since childhood and I have met her several times. But it just bothers me. He's being sercretive, he admitted once he had a huge crush on her when they were younger and she is newly single. I also saw over his shoulder that they've been messaging on facebook.

Would you be concerned? How do I approach the subject now that I've been dishonest and looked at his phone?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on May. 11, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • I would read the texts, and if there is something to be concerned about confront him. I would be bothered if my husband just "ignored" me, if I asked him if the sky was blue, let alone if I was asking who kept texting him,, why did you not read the texts? I would think his silience would have been an indicator you need to investigate a bit more.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:26 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I didn't read the texts because I heard him coming. It's very rare that he doesn't have his phone in his pocket lately. Probably not a good sign. :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:31 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • In my opinion, a woman doesn't have a right to be bothered about every female friend her husband has, but she has every right to be bothered about the ones he refuses to tell her about.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:34 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I'd probably tell my husband that if i had a man friend that I would not hide conversations from my husband, and that hiding conversations leads to hurt feelings.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:36 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • I would be mad! First off, he should have told you who it was when you asked. Obviously he is hiding something or he wouldn't care that you know. I have a really sick stomach though about this subject so I would be double worried. I wouldn't be able to just go on like everything is okay. Is he showing any signs of cheating? Leaving late at night? Working late? Showering as soon as he gets home?
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:42 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • He makes sure he keeps his phone on him almost all the time. He also recently put a password on his laptop. This woman happens to be the granddaughter of the man he works for. So I'm sure he can see her whenever. This is making me feel way worse.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:46 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • Is he doing other weird stuff? I wouldn't be able to get past him ignoring me,, when he gets in the shower get the phone, and read the messages,, I can't understand why people who are married are not open about everything..Does he have a facebook account? I would suggest you all combining them,, and see what he says,, many of my married friends have a joint account, and if he has a problem with it,, well then time for a big old talk,, with him listening and NOT ignoring you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:48 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • Wow.. It sounds very strange because he just RECENTLY started hiding his phone & putting passwords on things. It really doesn't sound good to me. I'm sorry hun.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:49 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • There would be a confrontation in my home. His behavior is making him look guilty
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 9:50 AM on May. 11, 2012

  • recently has phone at all times
    recently placed password on laptop
    plus
    admitted in past huge crush on her
    and ignoring your question about

    red flags

    trust your instincts
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:54 AM on May. 11, 2012

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