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How do you let go of your first love?

i have remained friends with my first love and while i'm not in love with him, we have a bond neither of us can terminate. we both have tried. i am married now, he is in the middle of a divorce. i'm happy in my marriage and my husband does know of my feelings towards my ex and he understands my feelings. i just can't seem to shake the feeling that i'm not giving my husband all of me and i don't know how to take back the piece of my heart that i gave away before. it doesn't matter if my ex and i are speaking or not, the bond is still there and we eventually take up our friendship again. i want to be friends, he is a wonderful person, but i want to take back the piece of me that i gave him long ago. has anyone successfully done that? or is it that once love is given it can't be taken back?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • for me, it was simply I grew up and realized that my "first love" was not actually love.

    but I do have ex boyfriends that I am still friends with.

    you can't "take back" love. all you can do is love your husband with all your heart and both you and he understand that it is just friendship between you and the ex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I agree with Anon. Its kind of like you outgrow what you thought was love. You move on you cant take your heart back, you let the past go and move on. Until you do that you will never be able to give hubby 100%.

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 1:15 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • You can't. You will always have a special bond with your first love. Even if he's thousands of miles away. It's always going to be there. It's just part of the female psyche. It's what you do with that knowledge is what matters. You can't let it consume you and affect your relationship with your husband.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:52 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • You just let him go if it was all that then why you two are not the one's married? I think it is very unhealthy for your marriage to still be in contact with him.That's why you can't stop because you keep him in your life.Just let him go all the way,don't lie to your self about this person.Well for my marriage this sort of thing is a no no.The past is gone.

    Answer by MrsRKP7 at 11:15 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

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