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my relatioship!!

I guess this is hard for me. I dont really know what I want?? My parents have being together since my mom was 16, they were childhood friends. I never wanted a seperate house hold for daddy and mommy for my lil girl. And I still love him. But i cant have her see so many fights and he doesnt pay attention to me; No kisses no hugs no thing just fights. I guess i really dont know what to think. maybe time is the answer??? any clues on telling him to back off for a couple of weeks. So i have time to think. any clues on how not to affect the seperation between my babys daddy and me not affect my daughter, especially when she gets older I've never had to deal with a divorce in my family. and when my brother got divorce the women ran of with his son and wont let him see him. So i really dont know how to take the next step if it really is a seperation. If we do come to the end of this relationship.
addition to my first questuon!

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5KRAZYMOMMA7

Asked by 5KRAZYMOMMA7 at 1:49 AM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Sit down and talk with him. If he won't listen or be reasonable then the problems in the relationship become HIS fault. You did your part...it takes two to tango. It's hard, especially when he's the father of your baby (been there..) but in the end you need to do what will make you happy. You don't want to live in hell for the sake of your daughter having an asshole father in the household.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Well, I am sorry that youre having this issue. I won't sugar coat this and tell you that it won't affect her because it will but the fighting is also affecting her too. I take a certain quote from Dr Phil because its so profound. When children experience traumatic situations, it literally changes who they are. Our actions as parents write on the slate of who they are. If we really knew the gravity of that situation, we would take marriage and parenting a bit more seriously. I can't tell you what to do because I don't know, but it will affect her no matter what. I was also a child of divorce and yes, it changed who I was. I remember thinking as a 10 yr old child that I did not want to live like that anymore. Put your child first in whatever situation comes your way and then do what you feel is best.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:49 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I was always told if your not happy the child is not happy, children are smarter then we think and she hears and sees everthing that you and daddy do. It will be hard but if talking does not work then you need to take the next step, if you are worried that he make take your daughter if you want to leave then go to family court to start the paper work for joint custody and then explain to him why.
    Tee521

    Answer by Tee521 at 9:38 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • What is making you unhappy? What is making him unhappy? You need to answer those things first.. If he is unhappy because you focus on your DD more and don't express your feelings for him, he may feel like you are pushing him away.. solution, make a date with him, to show how much you still love and care for him. There is a solution to every problem, but they take work, and you have to both be willing to compromise. Sit down with hubby, and ask him sincerely how he is feeling, and then tell him how you feel.. don't bash, or point fingers at all, that will only lead to more fighting. You can also try counseling.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:29 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

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