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2 Bumps

So fed up

I've decided that it would be best for me and the kids to leave asap their father. I came home this morning from work to a really messy house,husband got up saw me cleaning then went back to bed.
He gets anal when I even suggest he do dishes and help out around the house. He told me and I quote,"I shouldn't have to do anything around here I pay the bills' To which I replied back I work fulltime and come home clean,take care of the kids,errands,grocery shopping,and even cooking meals. He tries to pin everything on his 14 yr old daughter and then makes her feel bad if something isn't done while the boys ages 10-13-16 sit on theirs asses acting just like their dad. I can't take his bullshit anymore,and he's always rubbing it in that he pays the bills. I make 9.25 an hour I'm looking for a better job,in the meantime he sits around self employed not working,or even looking for work,hasn't filed his taxes in 14 years!! He refuses to get his act together even with me pleading and begging. I've been wanting to go back to school to get my diploma or ged and I get no support from him. Shouldn't he plan things with the kids to make mothers day and nice day for me? I do it for him. Shouldn't a husband pitch in to help? Shouldn't he be responsible? I don't really care to be near him anymore,he makes me so angry. He's 56 yrs old and stubborn and thick headed. I just feel like maybe my life would be better without him. I feel like life is holding back something from me and the kids because were with him. You know he never talks to his kids,he just yells at him or argues opinions like his opinion over theirs doesn't count. My daughter will hug him and he stands their with his hands down to his side,wtf is up with that? He doesn't reach out to me unless it's time for him to get some,I'm not his room mate I'm his wife and I would like him to hold my hand or come up and hug me without requiring anything of it. He won't do any counseling because then that's telling people our business,and that would take away from his wrestling he watches,and his playtime on the computer. So I need to move on and make a new plan. I'm tired of the battle.

Answer Question
 
MarGeee

Asked by MarGeee at 5:28 PM on May. 13, 2012 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,059 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Just an off key question,I have this huge blister on my little toe,and I popped it and it hurts really bad. Any remedies for that?
    MarGeee

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 5:32 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • a lot of that sounds like my husband... Good for you!! lots of luck and love in the venture of your new plan
    Blessed_mom1102

    Answer by Blessed_mom1102 at 5:33 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • Thank you.
    MarGeee

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 5:35 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • You know when I see other couples in public being romantic it makes me cry? I shouldn't feel that way.
    MarGeee

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 5:37 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • You all are in the cycle of tearing each other to shreds. There's help to be had, but somebody has to be willing to break the cycle. Usually that is the more mature person in the marriage. I have no idea which one of you that might be. He needs respect the same way you need love. Neither of you is going to get what you need by tearing the other one apart. It might help you to read LOVE AND RESPECT by Dr. Emerson Eggelrichs.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:37 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • I understand. I do not really watch happy wedding shows anymore or any of that crap... most days I wonder why the hell we are married.
    Blessed_mom1102

    Answer by Blessed_mom1102 at 5:40 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • What about the fact that he makes my daughter feel like she has to do everything while I'm at work NannyB? He made her cry today,she did the dishes yesterday and did her best,and she cooked her brothers dinner. My husband sat their and had the nerve to say she didn't make him dinner,she's 14 not 18,yes she is capable of doing all of that. But this is on going with him and the abuse is too much.
    MarGeee

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 5:43 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • "hasn't filed his taxes in 14 years!!"

    I hope you've filed your own. That's called tax evasion and it's a CRIME... that alone is enough reason to walk out before Uncle Sam comes in and takes everything out from under you.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:58 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • Well, he has been an ass for a long time imo. Why are you waiting...leave now.
    iwicked

    Answer by iwicked at 6:32 PM on May. 13, 2012

  • Call the IRS?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:34 PM on May. 13, 2012

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