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Ok.. so I just had a son not long ago and it seems like all I think about is sex, sex, and more sex. I want sex more than I did before I had him. BUT anyway, my issue with my husband is, he hasn't seemed interested in wanting to have sex since I've been pregnant. He only seems to want it ONLY if I make a fuss and then ok he'll do it. I talked to him over and over and over again. He told me that he was waiting for me to be on birthcontrol this very last time I made a fuss. BUT theres other forms of birthcontrol if he really wanted to do it. I insisted he buy condoms. He bought them last week-end and we've only had sex once since buying a box of 3. I mean.. what should I do. I'm 27 years old he's 40. I'm trying my best not to cheat and I would like to work it out but he acts so nonchalant about it when I tell him how I feel. Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe he's worried about hurting you or something. Have you asked him why he doesn't seem interested?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I'm trying my best not to cheat....

    Wow - that's awesome.

    Maybe he doesn't want another child, maybe he needs a physical, maybe he's just depressed? Maybe you should, instead of talking about it "over and over and over" again, take a break and give him some space. Sounds like a lot of pressure on him, IMO.


    Answer by Wimsey at 10:55 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I've talked to him about it and its not that hes worried about hurting me. We both don't want kids again right now at this present time so I understand him on that but he can at least try to please me by going down on me or something.. he don't even do that. and how is that pressure???? All I'm asking for is a little love. I mean we are MARRIED.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Oh yeah.. he recently had a physical too...thats not the issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • What have you done to try to get him in the mood? Sometimes stress can take their toll on a man, especially with a new baby around. They sometimes feel pushed aside, and he may feel a bit belittled by your only wanting sex from him as a form of expressing your emotions for him.
    The best remedy for a problem like this is to make a date for the both of you.. take him out to someplace you know he will love (ex. if he is into sports, take him to a game) and make the day only about him. Dont push for anything other than making sure he's having a good time. Men can sometimes act like woman, and hold out because they don't feel loved and appreciated.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:11 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I went through the same thing and i kept talking to my hubby about it and kept getting in fights over it. One day i just got sick of talking about it and just did not care anymore and all of a sudden he was wanting to have sex everyday. I think it's men don't like to be pressured into it they like to be the one's who initiate it. I think it's bs but i think that's how they work. So maybe try not talking to him about it anymore and if you get really horny if it's an ok thing between the both of you try watching porn when he's not around and get urself off. I think he'll eventually come around plus i think porn is better than cheating hun.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Was he present when you child was born? There are some men that have a really difficult time seeing their SO as a sex goddess after watching them give birth to their child.. It seems odd and a bit backwards but it isn't uncommon. The fear of another pregancy, the awesome responsibility a man feels as another has been added to his family..stress, work...all very viable reasons. Let him know under no uncertain terms how you feel about him and that you want him. Perhaps he needs to snuggle and not feel like a piece of meat on demand. The impace of a new child in your life is a bit different when you are 40 as opposed to 27. Be patient.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:14 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • sometimes with the addition of a child comes the addition of major responsibility (like the next 18 yrs full of bills and then college and weddings and on and on.) Men sometimes shut down to sex when they are under financial stress or overwhelmed by the outlook. Their whole lives are going to change now that there are children involved. If you are serious about cheating then I'd tell him. Maybe the thought of you seeking it elsewhere will get his attention. I've dated 40 yr old guys and most are more interested in work and building a future than sex. They like sex but are ok just having it once a month!

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:14 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Wow..thanks for the advice ladies. It helps to read that and to understand what could be going on. If only my husband would just open up and tell me whats going on with him I'd probably understand him a tad bit more and wouldn't have been pressuring him. He never tells me how hes feeling. I always asks him if hes happy and how I always be feeling about things. I always speak my mind and he doesn't.:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

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