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i need sum advice when it comes to relationships

i've been with my boyfriend for almost 4yrs but its like i just dnt want to be with him anymore. it all started when we 1st got together he used to show he cared by kissing on me and giving me hugs and stuff. then once we had our son he stopped doing all that and when i did ask for a hug or a kiss he wld snap at me and say its really annoying when you keep asking for stuff like that. and it hurts my feelings cuz i shouldnt have to ask for stuff like that. so it got to the point were i started to stop caring for him and started hating myself and feeling like i wasnt good enough for him cuz he never tells me he loves me or that im beautiful or sexy,and that really hurts especially since ive been having trouble keeping a job and his mom wld make tha comment saying that id get a good paying job if i lost a lil bit of weight. it makes me feell fat and ugly. so what i ended up doing was i cheated on him with this guy i worked with..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • cont... the guy made me feel good and he always told me i was beautiful and sexy and that he loved me we were so close and still are. and i miss him alot he is everything i cld ask for and more. somethings happened because of me and he went to jail and i came back to my bf being obligateted. i want to leave my bf soooo bad but i cant cuz i have no job and i cant drive cuz he wont help me. and then my whole family hates me and wants nothing to do with me. and im afraid to eave because throughout our whole relationship he has threaten to take our son from me. when i cheated on him he was going to sue me for full custody. so i stay but keep messing with the other guy who does me a whole lot better and makes me feel special. i just dnt kno what to anymore i just want to be happy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • If you are going to keep cheating, you need to leave. End of story. Think of the enviroment you are raising your son in...its terrible.
    Go get a job. Leave. He is going to take you to court for custody, that is his right. But if you have a house, and a job, and can support your baby, then he is not going to get full custody. The courts would have no reason to give it to him. But yes, he will most likely get visitations.

    But regardless of that, you need to leave. You are living a lie and setting a terrible example for your baby.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 11:34 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • He's your bf not your husband. IMO it is not cheating. You didn't take a vow to forsake all others. If you married him it might be a different story but before marriage IS when you check out other men. It's important for you to find a man who makes you feel good about yourself until you can feel good about yourself on your own. Stay away from ppl who drain your self esteem. BF can't take your child just bc he wants to. It's a control threat to keep you in his power. Make a plan. Try temp agencies for a job. Work on saving up and getting out. Get on a waiting list for govt assistance for housing (Section 8). Take a class. Do something you like. Check out groups on CM about Cheating? Thinking about it? or even one for CyberCheating. Is it really cheating. They are great women there trying to figure things out for themselves. It gives you someone to talk to about it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:50 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • my son dnt kno what i do he isnt around me. im not stupid so i dnt think im setting a bad example. its not like i bring lots of different people around him but he does kno the guy i cheated on my bf with cuz we was living with him for a moment. the guy did more for my son than my bf. cuz my bf dnt do anything with our son all he cares about is football and playing his xbox 360. he is the type who will go get his hair cut every wk and wnt take the baby to get one. and its sad cuz our son will be 3 in aug and he is afraid to ask his own daddy to do something because he knows he wont do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Listen to admckenzie. I totally agree with her.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • example or not your letting your son get hurt by his own father that is bad enough. leave somehow. move in with friends or family. a family member who will take you in. get on food stamps etc to help get you by and go get child support from your bf. i would start there. i think you need to be with yourself for awhile and not with any man. you shouldn't need a man to make your feel good about yourself. they should just add to it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I can see how you feel this way. And it's probably very hard for you to get out of your situation without having a job. I would try to make it on my own and get a job and then just leave. Unless you still really love your boyfriend. Then stay.
    courtneyleigh16

    Answer by courtneyleigh16 at 3:04 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • i dnt love my bf any more i havent for awhile now. i just stay cuz i have nowhere else to go and im afraid he will take my son from me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

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