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Does anyone else argue with their Daughter continuously, that your own heart is breaking?

I have been posting in different forums, and have noticed they are becoming a place for us many upset moms to go to and share our story of how upsetting it is when a child you love pushes you away. If you have the need to share and vent, heres a place to do it !

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dorny

Asked by dorny at 1:40 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (13)
  • I am a mom of two teenage daughters we were once so close. Once my girls hit there teens I am now the enemy. Now my girls want nothing to do with me except get a ride or money. My 18 year and I totally go at it, she says the most hateful things to me. I do so much for her and feel under appreciated & verbally abused.  I go into counseling and learned it's okay for me to walk away and calum down, I don't have to feed into her drama, I just stopped taking her places, buying her stuff and giving her money.  She has been much nicer!

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 9:45 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • im 17 and i argue with my mom all the time, mostly over my daughter :( it sucks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • It is normal to have conflict with your teen. They are becoming their own woman. It is not ok for them to be disrespectful of you and that you must stop. If you feel used then cut her off and send her the message that she needs to be respectful to get respect. I wish you luck my friend.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:33 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Mine knows she's never too big for a butt whipping.I am good to her I do any thing to help her
    I'd give my life for her.But mama won't have what mama won't have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I understand you very well. I have two daughters one is 20 years all and one is 17 going to 18.
    My youngest daughter and me are always arguing because she just want to be with her friends all time. We give her permission to go out and tell her to go back at certain time, but she never does, she is back one to two hours after the time we gave her. When she is home she is on my space and in the cell phone. She always complaining that we don't understand her and that we don't give her enough freedom. Every morning we argue because she gave me hard time to wake up to go to school. Nowdays, is hard to be a parent and have a good relationship with your kids.
    Peer pressure and technology are our worst enemies. I love technology, but it had harm the families, that we hardly can share time we our kids. For our kids we are old, living in another world which they don't fit. We have to keep fighting to regain control of our kids .
    books17

    Answer by books17 at 8:51 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • I finally stayed calmed and didn't argue anymore (my daughter 18) I said fine, if thats what you want to do in life, not go to school partime jobs then you can, but not in my house. Tough love but she is doing it, and she is finding it much harder than she thought. BUT our relationship has actually gotten better being away from each other. It is ok for teens bursting to be adults and parents to clash, if you didn't then something wasn't right!

    Teens will say things because they know they are pushing your buttons..
    Ibelucky1

    Answer by Ibelucky1 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Just remember your children will come back to you....they always do. This is temporary and unfortunately its also normal.  At some point ...usually when they move out for good, or have a baby of their own.....they will realize that they were wrong, and they will see how much they hurt you, and maybe even appologize!! (I did)  So hang in there, it will pass, things will get better . Promise!

    theQueenB

    Answer by theQueenB at 9:55 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • My daughter and I started this when she was 11. I was very sad becuase I didn't think that we would be going through this so soon. This is when she started middle school and she became very popular with both boys and girls. Her friends were allowed to date and hang out with boys unsupervised. I tried to convince her to find another group of friends, but she refused. One of the parents of her friends started doing inappropriate things with kids and my husband threatened them and was arrested, that ended her friendship with these kids. She is now 13 and very affectionate to me, I got my little girl back, I don't know how long though. She also hangs out with nicer kids now.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 10:18 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • Mom, I feel for ya. And I completely understand. I raised two daughters myself. It's not easy. But here is what I found. You have to stay on them.. regardless if they like it or not. You have to know what they are doing and where they are going at all times. Never let your guard down! Never let her overpower you, especially with guilt.. and she will try believe me. Just turn your back and walk away.. but never give up. Several times, I had to follow up daughter... several times I caught her in a lie.. but I did not back down. I made her get in that car with me... It was a struggle believe me. But when she had kids of her own and finally said to me, "Mom, I understand why you did what you did"... I was worth every stressful moment! Lots of luck to you and your daughter.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 10:53 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • It seems like every woman I hear from who has teenaged daughters is dealing with this kind of thing. I had conflict with my Mom when I began to turn 15. BUT, this was also as a result of my parents allowing me to go steady with a 17 year old kid. Instead of having a hobby or hanging out with gf's I was hanging out with this young boy. We spent all our free time together (my parents allowed this) and we began having sex. It was my fault for doing it but my parents allowed the door to be opened so to speak. My personality changed. My advice to parents is not to allow your young girls to do this that verge on adulthood and then expect them to see you as authority figures. I know my experience dn apply to everyone who reads this but maybe a few-who knows.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jan. 31, 2009

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