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If you are in love, would you be willing to be the other woman, until the divorce is final?

I am dating a man who has filed for divorce but she contested and its taking longer than expected. The problem is they have a child together so they are constantly in contact. I dont like this but I deal with it. Should I stay in this relationship until the divorce is final. Or am I just blinded by love.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • EVen if i loved let him go. And if i hadnt moved on by need to see the divorce papers before getting involved with him again. Screw nobodies candy on the side.

    Answer by roxxxy at 2:52 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Nope, no way.. uh huh.. You are selling yourself short with this one. Get out while you can.. you deserve alot better than that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • If he really cares about you he will understand if you want to wait until the divorce is final. if it was me I would def. wait

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I met my boyfriend 2 months after he filed for divorce and was legally separated. She had left him for another man 4 months earlier. They had a complicated divorce but it was never contested. I was with him almost a year and a half before it was final. But it never interfered with our relationship and getting closer. He had to go through some difficult periods of emotional loss...but I fell in love with him and it was part of his healing process. We've been together 2 years now and very much in love. So I say, if it feels right and you both love each other, stay with it. There will be some tough times but if it is meant to be, those times will make your relationship stronger. Good luck!

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:19 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Nope, no way. If he really cares about you he wont mind that you want to wait until he is no longer legally married to get serious.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 2:22 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Uhm no why would you want to be that person? My ex and me split up and he was having an affair and spun all sorts of stories to the OW. She believed every word he said and the truth was far different then what she was being told. She still b elieves his stories like how he left me when the truth was I threw him out and he BEGGED me to take him back while he was living with the OW. I would say tell him to call you when its done and over and hes on his own. He will also need time to get adjusted to being a single father. You dont need to put yourself in that position and if the kids are older theyll blame you even if it isnt your fault for the divorce.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:22 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Obviously you're not the "other woman" since they've already filed for divorce, etc. What I will say is that if you ask a group of stepmothers what they'd tell a woman just beginning to date a man with children, they pretty much as a group agree that they'd recommend you run as though your very life depended on it, especially if there's a difficult or crazy ex-wife in the picture - and his sounds like she's being difficult, at the very least.

    Answer by Avarah at 2:32 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I would hold off everything until after the papers are signed.

    If it is meant to be, it can be when he's free.

    (And yeah, the advice Avarah gave you about crazy ex? Pay attention!!!!)

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:39 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • This is the OP. Yes his ex is very crazy. She has threatened me numerous times. She feel like its my fault that they are getting a divorce but its not. She threatens to take his daughter away from him if he doesnt do what she says and its just so hard for me to deal with. But at the same time I know that he loves his daughter and will do anything for her to keep her happy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • If he is seperated from his wife seeking a divoce you are not the other women. If their relationship is over then there is no reason for you not to be with him now. There is no telling how long the divorce may take enjoy being with him and don't let his ex get you down.

    Answer by at 2:55 PM on Jan. 28, 2009