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In control

My husband is not usually home when the kids and I are. He stays at home with our 2yo while I work for 4 hours each day but he focuses on giving her attention and getting ready for work so I do all of the cleaning and cooking, kids, dog, errands, etc.

He told me last night that he does not feel like a man but one of the kids and would like me to work on changing that. I posted the question in one of my groups and got the following ideas on how I can do it.

listen to what he has to say and not jump to conclusions
ask his opinion even if I do not care
do things his way once in a while
compliment him on things even if I do not like how he did them

do you ladies have any other ideas? Thank you.
Oh and he does complement me on everything I do, and gives credit where credit is due.

 
vbongard

Asked by vbongard at 3:10 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Remind yourself often that you are his wife and not his mother. Ask his forgiveness for making him feel that way. Make extra efforts to do some "wifely" thing every day like make something he enjoys or see to it that he has time to do something "manly" like watch a ball game. Tell him you are a team and how much it means to you that he is willing to do what he's doing. A lot of men wouldn't. Tell him that, too.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Treat him like an adult and not another child
    Give up control - it doesn't have to be done your way to be right
    Cut yourself some slack
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:19 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Let him know that if he wants to feel like he's contributing more to the family and feel like he's being the man, to step up and do more to help and really get things done. That's the only way he"ll actuallly ever feel better about it. Just trying to make him feel like he's doing something will just be humoring him. Then he'll be upset at you for that. Ask him to tell you what he thinks will help him. You are already doing what you feel needs to be done to make everything work out.
    crazybeautifulh

    Answer by crazybeautifulh at 3:22 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • i would directly ask him what he would like you to do to make him feel more manly
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:31 AM on Jan. 29, 2009