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Gah! My FIL....a little confusing...stick with me here! lol

So...BIL (almost 19) has a fight with MIL, moves into FIL's house. We (my SO and I) gave BIL a car about a year ago. We paid for his insurance. This was so he could go to school and/or get a job. Well, he ended up doing neither, and totaled the car.
The only reason we gave BIL a car was because we bought me a mommy car, in which FIL helped with $400 of the down payment.
So...BIL (almost 19) has a fight with MIL, moves into FIL's house. Ok fine. No biggie.
Christmas time rolls around, FIL decides not to "do" Christmas do to economic issues. Fine. He decides that forgiving our debt ($400) is our present. Yay! Great for us.
So now he (FIL) writes us an e-mail saying that BIL "deserves" a car, and that he is starting a savings account to help get him one, and that we need to pay him at least $200 of the $400 that we "owe" him, and that this money will go into the savings for BIL.
Continued....

 
CarolynBarnett

Asked by CarolynBarnett at 3:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (29 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would pay the jerk off as soon as I could. Send the payment return receipt of give him a check or money order clearly giving you a receipt. On the last payment write PAID IN FULL in the memo area. With family like that who needs enemies.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:02 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Continued....

    We don't think that BIL deserves a damn thing...he doesn't work, never has, doesn't want to, refused to help MIL around the house (Hence the fight that he ended up moving out over) and is just over all a dead beat.
    I told my SO to remind his dad of our "Christmas Present", but he says he is just going to completely ignore the e-mail.

    MIL told us that this would happen when he loaned us money...she also says that he will try to make us pay for it over and over, long after the debt has been resolved...

    What would you do?
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:58 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't pay it either. He said it was a present, so that's what I would consider it. Tell him no, sorry you're not going to pay the money because he already told you it was your Christmas gift.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 4:00 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I would pay him the full 400. I would get it in writing the debt is paid. Then I would NEVER accept money from him again.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 4:01 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Id ignore the email and when he brings it up in person say oh that was our christmas gift remember>? Or did we not get a gift is that what youre saying? He will hopefully drop it then. If he doesnt then say no we arent going to do that because he doesnt deserve it and we wont contribute.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • keep the email so he can't sue you over it if you never want to pay it back. that way you have proof that he agreed to forgo the money. i would write back saying the best way to help his son out is to have the son work for his own crap.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 4:09 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I'd pay it and be done with it and cover your booty by keeping record of the payments- if MIL is right then you just want to get it over with in order to avoid more family dysfunction later... your dh doesn't need all that.
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 4:15 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Say that you now need to be reimbursed for the insurance money you spent on your BIL and for the car you gave him, so that you can now pay your FIL back the money he gifted to you I bet that will shut him up real quick

    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 5:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I'd pay him back and I'd never ask or allow him to do anything for me again! Wow! I just can't believe he is doing that! Too bad you don't have the loan forgiveness in writing! (I assume). And when BIL totals out this car, your FIL can do it all alone next time.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:20 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • well i agree do not give him a cent and explain that the ecomony sucks for every one and you guys have a family to support and that he said he was forgiving the deb as a christmas present and leave it alone
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:56 AM on Jan. 29, 2009