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Is there anyone else that's afraid to try for a second?

My first resulted in a m/c. My pregnancy with my son was real rough. He had acid reflux so bad for too long that I thought I was going crazy. I am tired of people asking when I'm having another one. If it doesn't happen unplanned, I really don't know when the right time is. Nobody seems to understand this. He is 3 1/2. Everyone acts like it's just a piece of cake and that I should just go do it. I am 24 and married for 4 1/2 yrs. I still have time. He use to be wild. Now that he is finally calmed down, I actually have some time to myself. I can't take him to the park in 90 degree weather if I am huge and sick. Know what I mean? I just need some support on this.

 
BubbysMom208

Asked by BubbysMom208 at 5:57 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • MY PREGNANCYS WERE A NIGHTMARE.. I HAD HYPEREMESIS WAS ON BED REST HAD TWO OUT OF FOUR MISCARRIAGES I UNDERSTAND ENJOY HIM ID SAY MAYBE WHEN HES 5 AND STARTS SCHOOL IF YOURE READY THEN.. ITS UP TO YOU JUST TAKE A BREAK AND ENJOY THE ONE YOU HAVE JUST TELL THEM I FEEL COMPLETE FOR NOW I LOVE MY FAMILY !!!!AND LET IT GO AT THAT NONE OF THERE BUSINESS.. GOOD FOR YOU DONT CAVE TO PRESSURE WHEN IT GETS TOUGH THEY WONT BE THERE AT 4 AM YOU WILL....
    danahake

    Answer by danahake at 1:45 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I'm afraid to have a 3rd. I have two boys, ages 4 and 2. I've said no more babies, but my husband wants one more. I'm scared. I'll be the one taking care of all the kids, not my hubby. I'm scared of there being something wrong with the next baby. I'd rather "stop while I'm ahead" so to speak...you know?? We've got a good thing going with the two boys...I don't want to screw with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I am like the PP.. I am afraid to have a 3rd and my heart is really aching for one more. I had difficult pregnancies and had gestational diabetes, BOTH of my babies had jaundice and my dd had a severe UTI at 3 weeks old. She also has mild autistic tendancies. She is doing just fine now. But I worry that it is genetic and what would happen if I had a severly autistic child. Of course I would love them tremendously....but could I handle that? It is scarey.

    Makes you wonder if you are tempting fate or asking for too much, I know how you feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • i know what you mean my son is two. we tried for a second and it ended up in a m/c so i dont want to try again i'm only 22 so yeah but we hav decided not to go for a third because it was too emotional for us to go through all of that my son was hard enough to deal with i was a high risk preg. i had to many problems, he was born with a cyst and had surgery at 5 months, it was alot.. and really hard i guess it scared me so bad that i dont want no more kids..
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 6:24 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • You are right , you do have time. At the same time : How far apart do you feel is to far? That is just as good of a question as close is too close? For you one may be all you really want. Many people have only one child. i debated it for a long time, whether or not to have a second. What made up my mind was When I thought I was pregnant and got a neg. EPT. I was devastated. From then on we tried for one. I was scared about not being able to give child #1 everything I felt he deserved. But guess what? In the end it turned out he really loves his sister Plus he still gets
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • everything he deserves. While you are Pg with #2 you could do an indoor pool instead of the park or lot's of indoor adventures to the mall or farmers market. Or you could just have one. It's a tough choice and the transition form one to two is tough but if it is what you want it is worth the rough spots and child # one will be just as loved in the end. Your heart may feel like it does not have the capacity to love anyone else as much as you love #1 but hearts seem to know just when to grow! YOu have to decide what you want. no one else.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:30 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I am willing to wait til he's 6. If I don't by then I am not sure if I will. I do want more. Just not sure about actually doing it. 8 yrs apart just seems too far for me. My hubby wants 3 kids. I said I did too. I have also said no more. I don't feel right about doing it til I know it's what I am set on. Til then I am taking my pills.
    BubbysMom208

    Answer by BubbysMom208 at 6:41 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I honestly feel like it would stretch me too thin. Like I cant handle everything properly with another kid.
    BubbysMom208

    Answer by BubbysMom208 at 6:44 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • My SO wants another as well. He actslike it's just so easy to go bang here's my giant belly and my 2 yr old. I'm the SAHM with no life apperantly, but it doesn't give ANYONE the right to ask hey when is there going to be more babies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • i am afraid for several different reasons mostly because i feel like i love my dd so much i couldnt ever love another person like i love her
    emtmommyamanda

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 10:02 PM on Jan. 28, 2009