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Apparently I was over reacting!

So my Seperated Husband who went MIA for 5 days today is no longer missing. Yeah, he stood my kids up on saturday, did not return ANY calls or text (not even ones asking if he was alive), and has had NO activity on his cell phone for 5 days, I had called his work today to find out if he had made it to work this week. I WAS WORRIED! He finally calls me at 3:40pm to bitch me out for calling his work. "I have been "HERE", you know "AROUND" is what he said. And "why do you care, not like you care about me. Sorry I'm not dead." What the hell? If I didn't care why would I have even tried to find out if he was okay? I even drove ALL around to ALL the trail heads and beach access to see if his car was abandoned. I wasted my time for someone I don't care about? Why would he do this? YES I care about him! He is the father of our children, and I DO still love him. Just because we are not good together doesn't mean I don't care! CONTINUED

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • just leave it at "the kids were worried" lol
    watersgirls

    Answer by watersgirls at 7:40 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Well at least he was okay but he didn't have to be such a jerk about it, seriously men can be so stupid sometimes
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 7:42 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • wHEN TOGETHER OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NO GOOD. NORMALLY WE GET ALONG AS FRIENDS JUST FINE. I CANNOT BE "WITH" HIM BECAUSE OF ABUSE ISSUES. i HAVE PUT UP WITH ALOT AND NO LONGER WANT TO LIVE IN THE NEGATIVITY, AND I DO NOT WANT MY KIDS TO WITNESS HIS ATTACKS ON ME. I NEVER FOUGHT BACK OR STOOPED TO HIS LEVEL.

    I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO HIS ANGER AT ME FOR CARING IF HE IS ALIVE. ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT I SHOULD DO ABOUT THIS MIA THING, OR HOW TO HANDLE HIS RESPONSE FOR THIS UNCARING PERSON TO CARE ABOUT HIM?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • It seems to me he is still upset about your sepperation,for whatever the reason is.I do think it was selfish of him to not show up to see his kids or call.My father did the samething to my two brothers and I when we were growing up.My mom stopped letting us know when it was his weekend with us,because sometimes he wouldn't show up or call from a bar to cancel the plans.We all turned out ok.If he needed time to be by himself then he should had called and told you.
    Jeffsmom87

    Answer by Jeffsmom87 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • YEAH, I DON'T CARE IF HE WANTS SPACE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF HE IS ALIVE.I MEAN WHAT IF HE DROVE OFF THE ROAD AND WAS PINNED BY HIS CAR SLOWLY DYING AND IF NOBODY REPORTED HIM MISSING HE WOULD DIE.
    I KNOW ABOUT NOT TELLING THE KIDS WE ARE GOING TO SEE HIM UNTIL I SEE HIM PULLING UP. I HAVE NEVER REALLY HAD TO DO THAT WITH HIM. HE HAS ALWAYS MADE IT WHEN WE SET IT UP. WE HAVE NO COURT PAPERS YET SO IT IS A DAY BY DAY THING RIGHT NOW.
    I GUESS I AM JUST SO FRUSTRATED ABOUT THIS. THAT I ALLOWED IT TO GET TO ME.UUUGGGHHH.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I understand how you feel but if i were you i would really try and get those papers going cause once you have those done if he wants to be a loser dad and not show up when he's suppose to and not call atleast he'll be paying his child support. And you got to remember he's an adult who can take care of himself you need to stop worrying about him and get on with your life. Just worry about you and kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • You need to break that emotional bond or you will end up driving yourself nuts. It's a trauma bond to an abuser. Let it go. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. You are looking for excuses to remain in touch with him. Cut the cord. If he died someone would contact you. Tell yourself no news is good news. You just opened the door back up for him to think you "care" again. That is dangerous. It's like breaking an addiction to something. Get away from it. Heal. Then when you are healthy and strong enough deal with him for the kid's sake but not now. His parents/family will keep you posted if they need to get in touch with you. Leave him alone.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:41 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • The only problem with waiting for his family or friends to call me if he is dead is they probably wouldn't know. lol. He goes months/years not talking to his family, and his friends are all numbskulls and not really friends. They would probably just think we got back together since he drops one part of his life while he is with me. The only one would be his work and they wouldn't really call me cause we are not together, they would probably just take him off the schedule for no show. He is just sooo stupid, picks up hitchhikers (he even drove one 6 hrs to another state), and just takes stupid risks.

    I want to call him and bitch him out for pulling this stunt, but I will take all of your advise and ignore his existence and not let it get to me. JUST BREATH. LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I bet he felt great for those 5 days. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Other then the fact that he stood up your children you have no right to know where he is or what he's doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • does he have a drug problem? it sounds like a drug binge to me
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:43 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

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