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Is there life after divorce?

I am going through a divorce and I have to admit I am scared. I am scared to be alone forever. My brothers and sister are both happily married and successful. I am the one that made the bad decision. I feel very ashamed to have a failed marriage, I know I shouldn't but I do. To go to family reunions and be the only one without a spouse or SO, yet have a bunch of kids. I was a shut in wife, and don't have any friends. My parents think I am an agoraphobic, basically a hermit, since I have been like this for almost 9 years. My days are just me and my kids. I have no job and I don't go to school, I plan to stay this way until after summer. I live about 25 min from town and only go in for groceries and to pick the kids up from school. I have no route to meet people and frankly have lost the ability to converse with adults, my mind goes blank and I don't know how to start a conversation. My husband was my only adult friend now gone

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Well you made a good start right here :)
    I'll gladly chat with you about anything, my parents are divorced, but I myself don't know what that's like. But I'am as well a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) so I'm home all day, and my account is always signed in.

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Meet ppl online. I have agoraphobia. I lived like a recluse for about 15 yrs staying away from ppl. I got fed up with that a few years ago and started meeting ppl online. Once i felt comfortable with them I met them in person. It was great. I've met some wonderful folks online. I also hooked up with friends from high school and have spent time catching up on what they have been doing. Each time I talk with a new person I gain more confidence in myself and become "me" again. Pre marriage "me". You can do this. It's scary but it's a do-able thing.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:47 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Yes there is life after divorce. I was very much like you. I was isolated from the world, had little or no friends. Didn't drive and had a 2 year old when I left. It was VERY hard for me to leave the house because I really didn't want to try and deal with other adults. Not to mention, the shame like you said. I found it fairly easy to meet other moms at the local park or at the park district. And honestly, you don't have to really "work' that hard at it. I'm not very "out there" when it comes to striking up conversations with people, but they always seem to come to me. Good luck!!!!

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:49 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • your life will be better by the sound of what your marriage was before. so i would be happy and not care what others think of what your marriage came too. just concentrate on you and your kids. it's actually kinda nice being single. although at times it's tough as well. i was single for 12 yrs. i was lonely at times but when it came to remarry i was like what, married? i was scared cause i had gotten used to being alone. as well you and it's not that bad. in fact it's nice not having to worry about when to be home and anyone to answer too. just have fun and learn more about yourself. it's great knowing your worth. i just took me 12 yrs to find myself in able to let another into my life.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:37 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • join a group on here for moms in your area and force yourself to go to their play groups. and explain on the board your sitution :) and if you cant find a group in your area check the school groups for your childrens school. pm me if you need help finding the school group im on of the group owner of my daughters school group

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:36 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

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