Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Why does society discriminate single moms?

Maybe it was just my personal experience but when I was a single mom it was hard enough taking care of my kids yet I still had to deal with society. Like married ladies kept their husbands away from me as though I was going to steal them like a cat in heat, so friendships were difficult. It takes two to tango yet I was often told I should have kept my legs crossed. Dating was difficult because guys would say I had "baggage". Well, the list goes on and on.

You try to be strong because people suck, but every now and then the comments hurt. The guy walks away free from discrimination but the woman has to deal with it as though we woke up one day and said:

"I have an idea...I'm going to go out and have sex with some random guy, get pregnant, and leave the guy because I really want to raise a kid all on my own. I can't wait!".

Now that I'm married I get treated so differently, it pisses me off, I'm still the same person I was then. If I
know a single mom, I always go out of my way to friend her.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on May. 21, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Most of society feels that children will be healthier, happier and have more stability when raised in a home with a mom and dad who are united as a team. Having children outside of this security makes them seem irresponsible towards creating children ( BC, promiscuity ). I believe children should ideallybe born to married couples but its none of my business. There is certainly a double standard when it comes to single parents. A single father would be a martyr

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 3:16 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • I was a single mom of 3 and never felt that way. I had very few guys that didn't date me because I had kids. Most people thought I was a saint for working, going to school and taking care of my kids - and they helped me tremendously.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:51 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • Ignorance
    mommys2cupcakes

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 10:50 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • People jump to conclusions. I know some people who think most single moms are loose women that slept around and got knocked up. It's dumb.
    xXMarlyeXx

    Answer by xXMarlyeXx at 12:56 AM on May. 22, 2012

  • Well I was widowed at 24, so anyone who wants to make stupid assumptions about me being a single mother can shut their ignorant little trap and shove that judgmental crap up their ass!

    In my experience, most people do not look down on single moms, most have a great respect for them...the ones that do look down us, well I already said how I feel about them :)
    hillary819

    Answer by hillary819 at 12:57 AM on May. 22, 2012

  • to make a minory system...

    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 12:58 AM on May. 22, 2012

  • Widowed at 25. My biggest pet peeve about how single moms are treated is the assumption that the father of my kids is not in our lives by choice. Death is never the first conclusion people draw when you're young and single with kids.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:02 AM on May. 22, 2012

  • Like mommy said- ignorance - and I will add insecurity.

    I wouldn't want to be friends with that type of person. Single parents have my respect.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 1:03 AM on May. 22, 2012

  • I understand your feelings. That is exactly the way I felt when I was single as well. After my divorce, I actually had a long term friend of mine say that she no longer wanted to be my friend because I was no longer married and she felt she would have to compete with me now. Talk about discrimination. I haven't spoke to her since. Anyway, it was like that at work as well. My boss was always trying to find people for me to date, etc.

    Anyway, point is.. you are correct... there is a double standard on that issue. However, you can rise about it. A woman should be able to make a decision on her own, including raising her children without a man if she so chooses.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 1:21 AM on May. 22, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.