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5 Bumps

I dont know where to draw the line between my daughter being a child and adult!

My 18 yr old daughter is living with me as she finishes school - on weekends she is going back to our hometown staying with her girlfriend. Now we are constantly having trouble with what she wants to do after HS - moving out on her own- and being in an ausive relationshsip. we have always gotten along and I have probably been too lenient and more of a friend- I try to be supportive of her relatinship until the last month or so! She always calls me upset and that makes me not like the other girl at all , but when she goes back to her I feel really stupid for letting it upset me and trying to do anything to get her out of the relationship!
So I want to be there for her but I cant take all the conflict, turmoil and drama!!
Please help!!! Any advise would be greatly accepted!!!!

Answer Question
 
restlessmomma93

Asked by restlessmomma93 at 4:11 PM on May. 21, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You draw the line at 18. She's an adult and will make her own decisions.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:14 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • My 18 yr old daughter is living with me as she finishes school
    your house your rules. if she wants different rules then she may need to get her own house

    and being in an ausive relationshsip
    http://www.thehotline.org/
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 5:13 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • She is 18, so she is not a child. If you don't like the way she is living you don't need to let her live with you. Even if she is 18 it is your house and your rules. When I lived with my parents at that age, they did change the rules a bit now that I had become an adult, but there were still rules and if I wanted to live there I had to follow those rules.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 5:56 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • She is all ready to leave but I am trying to make sure she graduates... problem is she does not have a job but is trying to get one and will go to college in our hometown- but i still dont feel she is financially set to afford an appartment even splitting the rent. I know she will also be needing me to help her....Its gonna be hard for me to tell her no but she also knows I can only do so much since I have a single income and am a single mom!
    Do I just cut her off completely??
    restlessmomma93

    Comment by restlessmomma93 (original poster) at 7:19 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • You cannot put yourself in a financial bind. She has to know that in order to move out, she needs to be able to do so on her own & not come running to you for handouts. Work out a budget plan w/ her so she knows approx how much $$ she will need to be making to cover her bills. As to the abusive relationship, try to guide her into some counseling or support group that will help open her eyes to the fact that she is in a toxic/dangerous relationship. GL!!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:52 AM on May. 26, 2012

  • thats right mrs.mom
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 7:28 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • Since she is still in high school, I would treat her like a child. JMHO, until you graduate, and since she's living under your roof, she needs to follow your rules: one of which would be staying home on the weekend.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 11:35 AM on May. 29, 2012

  • Some adult kids still need assistance well into their late 20s. Help out financially when you can, or if there are other things you can do, like making some hot meals for her to heat up when she gets hungry. Or, putting together a care package of canned foods, etc.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 6:52 PM on May. 29, 2012

  • ok i can see this going two ways 1. she is still a hs student and living with you so she needs to put her act together and listen to your rules or2. she is an adult let her fight her own battles one day she will wake up either will cause drama
    meliscool72

    Answer by meliscool72 at 3:46 PM on Jun. 1, 2012

  • I think that at that age sometimes they have to learn on their own. And sometimes they learn more from their mistakes than from their successes.
    OhGloria

    Answer by OhGloria at 5:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

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