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2 Bumps

I've f#Cking had it!

So my fiance is a "Gamer", meaning he likes xbox, playstation , and computer games.

He was laid off in January due to budget cuts and is still having some troubles looking for a new job. Don't get me wrong he is a very HARD WORKER. he's been doing IT stuff on the side here and htere but it's nothing that brings home a steady income...

So in the mean time of in between interviews, he plays computer the point he gets on at 2pm and doesnt get the f#ck off til 2AM!

i'm surprised i'm even pregnant because that keyboard gets more action then i do LOL.

so tonight, me and my pregnancy temper has had enough. When he knocks out, I'm taking his computer screen, keyboard and mouse and hiding it in the trunk of our car....along with the xbox, and taking the playstation controllers.

Enough is enough. I've been on bedrest and i still get thru the day and try to work twice a week. I understand losing a job can be depressing but drowning yourself in video games at 33 years old is ridic and with baby #2 on the way, he needs to get off the PC and into an office with more interviews..

So I have a new game for him, let's play "search harder for a job or go move in with your mother."

I'm sorry if it sounds evil but i've had it. I rather find out he's having an affair since he rather play videogames then have intimacy or a conversation for that matter.

It's really takinga toll on my selfasteem as well.

Would any of you do the same in my shoes?

Answer Question

Asked by Jersey_class at 10:41 PM on May. 21, 2012 in Relationships

Level 12 (855 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • No, because it won't work. However, I must admit that your post is hilarious. I'm really sorry I laughed because I know it's NOT funny but the "keyboard gets more action" was priceless.

    Anyhoo, look, guys do this crap because a lot of their self esteem is tied up in their job performance. So, also typical for guys, he's going to play video games because, while he's playing, he's not thinking about anything else.

    He's probably a little depressed. Putting his gaming system in the trunk is only going to result in depression AND frustration for him. I honestly don't think it's be a bad idea for him to see a doctor and just get a depression screen. It may help in the long run. Once that is tackled, I think you'll find he's more bouncy about getting work.

    A former compulsive gamer

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 10:45 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • I was just messaged this:

    10 SIGNS THAT MARRIAGE TO A GAMER IS TROUBLED 1.He would rather play video games than attend to his relationship with you, his health, and his job.
    2.He’d rather play than sleep — let alone have sex, or even a conversation with you.
    3.He refuses to discuss his moods and feelings.
    4.He refuses to admit he has a problem.
    5.He refuses to limit his playing time.
    6.He forgets his commitments to things that take him away from the game.
    7.He consistently breaks promises he’s made to spend more time with you and the life you share — and less in his Second Life.
    8.He lashes out at you for “not understanding,” no matter how you approach the topic of his gaming compulsion.
    9.He won’t consider joint counseling to discuss his issues, and others affecting your marriage.
    10.He won’t consider therapy to control his gaming compulsion

    he has all 10 of those, he's refused hel

    Comment by Jersey_class (original poster) at 11:16 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • Have you even tried TALKING to the guy?

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:18 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • Of course I have, i'd never just hit the drama button ever . I've asked him to speak to aproffesional, i flew his brothers up from Florida to help him w| his depressing-ish mood. I evn tried gettinga family game for all of us to play. NOTHING helps and it's breaking my heart.

    Comment by Jersey_class (original poster) at 11:20 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • Then you have two choices:

    1. You try to continue to work through this with him, or
    2. You leave the relationship

    Really, those are the only two choices you have, once you get rid of all the extraneous stuff that goes along with it

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 11:20 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • I'd leave. He's better off.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • It just sucks because i'm pregnant and we havea 4 and 1/2 years old autistic son. Leaving the relationship is a scary thought not because i can't do it on my own because Idk how my son would react

    Comment by Jersey_class (original poster) at 11:23 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • It IS scary and I'm not doubting that. I'm also not minimizing your fears about this because they're valid. There are many people who get "lost" in gaming.

    When you talk to him about how leaving would, possibly, harm your son how does he react? Is he completely oblivious to the impact it's having?

    What about if you left briefly? Like, could you stay at your mom's or make HIM stay at his mom's for a couple of weeks?

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 11:25 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • Both our moms live in florida, we're in New Jersey. My whole family other than my mother is here. Ive tried telling him, he doesn't get it. he actually seems pretty angry or verbally aggressive when I bring it up. He's punched a whole when I said your games are f#cking stupid what do I need to dress up liek wonder woman for you to touch me. It's too much. I feel like he uses games to escape the reality that we're having another baby.. There is PLENTY of jobs up here which is why I moved back, he just doesnt seem to WANT to do anything but get online

    Comment by Jersey_class (original poster) at 11:30 PM on May. 21, 2012

  • " I feel like he uses games to escape the reality that we're having another baby.."

    That's very possible. The problem is that you didn't immaculately conceive that baby; he was there too. So he needs to man up.

    If he's going to be verbally or physically aggressive, that's a whole other kettle of fish. I can see him thinking you're ragging on him, whatever, but violence is completely outside any sort of appropriate response.

    I'd tell my son (if I were you) that you're going on a vacation to visit grandma. I do NOT have experience with autistic children but many moms here do. Reach out to them on steps you can take to minimize his stress.

    You can do this. I suspect after you've been gone a bit, he'll make his ultimate choice. And when you leave, you don't have to make it a major deal; just let him know to contact you when he's decided what's important in his life.

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 11:35 PM on May. 21, 2012

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