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I am feeling depressed 3 weeks after the baby, is this normal?

I don't feel like I love him. I do take care of him very well but I don't feel any love.

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Asked by navywife1229 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • It could be post partum depression, you should bring this up with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 10:36 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Everyone makes out bonding to be this instant thing (which for some people is true) for others.. it may take more time. I did read an article about this in a magazine while I was pregnant. You could talk to your doctor about it... you may be feeling some post-pardum depression and not knowing it. It could be that your hormones are interfering with your bonding "instinct"

    Answer by alinker at 10:36 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Depression is normal and bonding does take a while for some. Plus the hype is over and the work and fatigue begin. I don't know how old you are, not that it matters but please watch this. I am approaching 40 and had a discussion with other girlfriends recently about how dangerous post partum is and that doctors and patients really must watch out for signs because new Moms can really go crazy. I was a little p.p after both my kids but just coped through it. Looking back, I should have been on meds and I should have known better, my Dad is an OBGYN. Please tell your OB.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:25 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • The love comes. It is quite overwhelming when it does. But don't force it! First, take care of yourself (and the baby, of course). Do whatever it takes to help yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help!

    Answer by Ophy at 12:44 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • This is completely normal. I just recently went through it. I wouldn't worry too much, unless you are having thoughts of harming yourself or the baby, or if it lasts more than 3 or 4 weeks, then you should talk with your doctor and it could be post pardom. But people tend to get that confused with the baby blues which most women get after having a baby. I felt like all I ever wanted to do was cry, but yet I was so happy and in love with my baby and felt like there was something wrong. And I was so scared that I would be a bad mom, and I wouldn't do anything right, and I was worried and freaked out about everything. It passed after the first month for the most part. The best thing to do is to talk to a friend or anyone that has been through it. It will make you feel so much better and reasured. And also try getting out of the house. Get a sitter for a few hours and just get out for a bit. It will help.

    Answer by ashtonjames at 12:53 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • The bonding can also take time. It depends on your age also and situation. The best thing you can do is talk to your doctor or some close friends.

    Answer by ashtonjames at 12:56 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • i felt that way. i didnt want anything to do with my newborn. i mean i would still change him and feed him and everything. i just didnt want to love on him and hold him. it all changed tho.i love both my boys. i never felt that way with my oldest. i was compeltly in love for day one. but with my youngest it took awhile. i mean i loved him just not LOVED him.

    Answer by mamaof2boys148 at 11:25 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Thank you. I have a 6 week follow up with my OB on 02/23. I don't get out of the house much. My spouse works a lot - he is a military recruiter; I don't have anyone to watch the baby until he gets home. We live in IL and there is a lot of snow and it is cold; therefore, I don't want to take the baby out. I just feel odd. One minute I was pregnant and then I wake up with a baby. I had a C-Section but the spinal did not work properly and I was put under General Anesthesia. His family came and visited us at the house but they held the baby all day and didn't help with anything else. Needless to say when they left the baby wanted to be held all night and wouldn't sleep in his crib. They are in-laws so it makes it hard for me. My husband has been very helpful around the house with cleaning, meals,and the dogs but I find myself yelling at him and irritable with him.
    I feel that I might be complaining too much.

    Answer by navywife1229 at 12:18 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I am 29 and have been married for two years as well

    Answer by navywife1229 at 12:19 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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