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Heart broken...

Did anyone else feel like they forgot how to date and interact with men after their separation / divorce? I met this great guy and I ruined it by being needy and clingy only to get him back again a month later and do the same thing all over again. I spent 8 years with my ex who paid almost no attention to me. And what little attention he did give me was mostly negative or abusive. Now I just don't know how to behave around men. I'm so heartbroken over making the same stupid mistake twice and losing this guy. I don't want to be this way. Did anyone else go through this?

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pst430

Asked by pst430 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • No I have not but y are you blaming urself for this...he obviously isn't the right one...you need to be with a man that deserves all your attention and OOOO's and KKKKK's....Don't settle for anything less...you decide who has the honor to grace your presence. Confidence girl!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I actually have. What I learned from that was to just be with him and have a good time. I'm not saying don't show him how much you care for him I'm simply saying don't throw all of your emotions at him at once. Show him in stages, give it time. As for the other men, they weren't ready fo or just didn't understand what you hd to offer them. Hang in there. You'll be just fine. Best of luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • You are so beautiful...I just checked ur profile and I was the one who sent the first post to you. Good Luck girl!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • Something in YOU needs to be fulfilled, like a piece is missing that isn't a man. What will make you happy and secure in life, other than getting it from a man? Once you find this, you'll be less likely to throw yourself at a guy and scare the heck out of him. If you can be a bit more independent, interested in other things, you'll be interesting to guys out there. Men don't want someone so desperate and insecure they can't leave the house. Not that that is you, just be careful to avoid that kind of action. The timing with this guy you speak of, just probably wasn't right. You'll find the perfect person when you are totally whole again just by yourself. Trust me, it works but it's a process that takes time.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:07 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • pm me sometime and i will give you my yahoo and aim i have problems that were caused by an abusive relationship and i am working those things out right now but maybe we can help each other :)
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • No not at all
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:38 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Oh yeah. After a divorce you have a LOT of emotional baggage and you are completely self sabotaging, and you don't even know it! You also repeat bad patterns. But you will get better. By noticing that you are your own worst enemy, you've already come a long way. It's been over 3 yrs and I've learned so much about myself. It starts with you. I think a lot of us quickly ruin a few relationships at first, but you've graduated now, try being on your own for a while and rediscover YOU.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 12:42 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

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