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I Am Doing This for Therapy Becouse My Doctor Said It Could Help ( TMI)

RAPE LOSS OF INNOCENCE RAPE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE RAPE NOBODY HEARD MY VOICE RAPE MEMORY OF THE PAST RAPE HOPE IT CROSSES MY MIND RACES OUT OF MY MEMORY SO I DON'T HAVE TO REMBER THE PAST I WISHI WOULD STILL HAVE MY INNOSENCE I USED TO BE SO CLEAN NOW IM VIOLATEDUNCLEAN,DIRTY,SCUM AND THE GUILT IS SLOWLY KILLING ME EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT MY FALTI FEEL AS THOUGH IT IS WHEN HE TOLD ME TO COME OVER I COULD HAVE RAN BUT I CAME AND HE ACCOMPLISHED HIS MISSION WHAT HE WAS SET OUT TO DOI WAS YOUNG AND HE WAS OLDER NOW IM TRAPED WHILE HE WALKS FREE I HATED EVERY MOMENT OF IT I CLOSED MY EYES AND IMANGEND I WAS INVISABLE LIKE I WAS NOT THERE THE THOUGHS THE MEMORY KEEPS REPLAYING WHEN I SLEEP LIKE SOME SICK TWISTED MOVIE RAPE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE RAPE NO ONE HEARD MY VOICE :(




Just a background i was raped when i was 15 years old and i got pregnant i had a beautiful baby girl who i love with all of my heart and love every secound with her i have been in therapy ever sence to help me deal with it and my doctor said writeing and telling about it may help so i chose cafemom to do so i chose to be anon so no one would know who i was and thank every one who reads this i may write another but i dont know yet ok thats all have a great night every one

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on May. 23, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • I'm so sorry this happened to you! Thank you for sharing your story so that it may help others.
    It really does help to write your feelings down as well as sharing them with strangers. I hope one day this will not haunt your every waking moment! Life is so short and precious! By remembering, you're allowing him to control you, your thoughts and well being!
    I truly hope he's in prison for what he has done to you! HUGS TO YOU!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 1:25 AM on May. 23, 2012

  • Made my eyes tear up. I hope this guy isn't around children again!!
    onelove1982

    Answer by onelove1982 at 2:01 AM on May. 23, 2012

  • Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know how difficult it is to open up and speak out the depth of pain you are experiencing.

    Hang in there, momma. It gets better. The process is difficult, and it takes time, but there is hope.

    And most importantly, remember this ... YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 2:52 AM on May. 23, 2012

  • I think your mission going forward is to help others who have been raped. You of all people know what best what they are going through. Turn that pain and anger into the power to save others. It took a lot of courage to confront this head on. Help educate women on how to to protect themselves. Someone thought they could steal your life but they didn't. You are here. You have survived and you will THRIVE to show that no one can take your life away. Any obstacles in the future you encounter will be nothing compared to what you have survived. You are strong. You have gotten through it before and you will get through anything tough again. If you put your mind to it, you can show them who comes out ahead in the end. YOU! I commend you for taking a stand, for speaking out, for taking action toward reclaiming what's rightfully yours. Keep it up! We support you!
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 4:11 AM on May. 23, 2012

  • i think you are very brave for being able to write about this. it could help someone else not feel so alone. i also give you a lot of credit for being able to have and raise the child. i do not know if i could be that strong even now at 29.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:10 AM on May. 23, 2012

  • There is a wonderful support group on Facebook if you are interested. It is titled Survivors of Sexual Assault Support Group.

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/3014587287/

    Usually there is an entrance question and you have to contact me through FB. However, if you message me on here with your FB name, I will just automatically let you in.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:42 AM on May. 23, 2012

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