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First deployment.. Need advice

I'm a 23 year old mom and wife of a navy sailor. In October, my husband will go to afghanistan for a year. I'm due in October with our second child. We're living in Jacksonville NC and I have no friends here and the only thing that's keeping me back is a drivers license. I'm studying now for the written test but my husband insist that we(me and our daughter) go back to NY to either stay with my parents or his mom because he doesn't want us to be alone. Our parents has no problem with this but I do. I like my own space and my house and I have lots of room here. My only downfall is a license and friends I guess. Any advice? One more thing, is it possible for the Navy to relocate us to NY and my own apartment until my husband comes back? I'm just asking :)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on May. 23, 2012 in Military

Answers (11)
  • I doubt the Navy will relocate you. I suggest getting your license quickly. I'm also a 23yr old Navy wife. I've had my license only a yr (I had a major phobia) and it has been great being able to depend on ME while I'm away from my husband. I also like having my own space but if you had a license you could go visit and go places.

    Also, why did you post anonymously?? There are a ton of military wives here who could help and would love to be friends. How can we reach out if we don't know who you are?
    xXMarlyeXx

    Answer by xXMarlyeXx at 7:12 PM on May. 23, 2012

  • The navy won't relocate you like that. Any relocation is under your husband's orders. Obviously you can do that out if pocket. It's tough being a military spouse but once you get your license and learn to depend on yourself or a trusted netwok it gets easier. You will be surprised at your strength. Over the years I got so used to being away from family that it seemed the farther away I was from them the better.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 7:57 PM on May. 23, 2012

  • Hate to say this. But your DH might be wanting you to go home for the family support. If you stay their. Execpt for rear detatchment. And FRG. You know no one. Right? But if you do not want to. Tell him NO.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:23 PM on May. 23, 2012

  • wow, I just turned 23 as well! My husband is a navy corpsman and went to afgan last year for around 9 months. We live in Okinawa, Japan. Going to see family is little more pricey then you going to New York.

    I made it half way through, then my babysitter got tired of babysitting for the long hours. I worked full time, ans o that meant he had to be there the whole 10 hours, 5 days a week. I ended loaning my mom and dad 3000$ to come help me. They stayed in Japan for one month, then I ended up having to quit my job, WHICH I LOVED. With 4 months reamining that my husband would be gone, I ended up on a 3 day long Space availbale military flight back to Texas to stay with mu parents until he got back.

    I had no support, no famliy, and shitty "friends"

    I went into it thinking, it's just a year. But when everyhting started to fall apart, and I had no one to lean on, I ended up back in the states anyway.
    cloud144

    Answer by cloud144 at 11:49 PM on May. 23, 2012

  • The way I see it, if you can afford moving to new york, then you can stay where your at now, and then when you get lonely, you or your family can catch a plane ride to visit for a month.....
    cloud144

    Answer by cloud144 at 11:51 PM on May. 23, 2012

  • or however long you want.
    cloud144

    Answer by cloud144 at 11:51 PM on May. 23, 2012

  • No, the navy wont relocate you just for a deployment. The move to and from NY will be on your dime. With that said, I've done both. I went back to stay with my parents for a deployment and I've done one on my own. I can tell you from experience, it was MUCH less stressful in my own home. I would suggest getting your license ASAP and start going to activities on base. Look for other moms on here that are in that area. I know several that are in the military mom's group. Also, look for a mommiesnetwork.com group in your area. I have met some awesome friends through it.
    KWnavywife

    Answer by KWnavywife at 10:05 AM on May. 24, 2012

  • Thank you so much for the positive feedback! It really means a lot and I'm thinking about staying home(NC). I just have to work hard to get a license. My husband will give me his car if I get my license. =)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 PM on May. 25, 2012

  • They won't pay to relocate you unless he has orders. I'm like you--I like having my own space. I almost always stayed in our house while my husband was deployed. I did go to visit our families for almost a month during one deployment, but that was the only time that I even went for a visit while DH was deployed. Living out of a suitcase and being around both of our families too much can make me crazy. If I were you, I would just get my license, make some friends where you're stationed, and maybe just go visit your family when you feel like you need to.
    kasey22

    Answer by kasey22 at 12:55 AM on May. 31, 2012

  • Get you DL dear then you can go to the base and find mommy and me groups,support groups, and have your own life. I would never have moved in with my inlaws or my family for a deployment. My husband has gone on deployments with the air force,you will survive,you might get lonely....thats what the support groups are for and you just might make some friends too.
    michaux

    Answer by michaux at 4:23 PM on Jul. 10, 2012

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