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How do I tell my husband that I am no longer satisfied with our sex life?

No foreplay, no oral...just sex, which is good....I find myself missing ex lovers because they were more sexually satisfying...I love my husband, but I need more from him in the do I tell him this without hurting his ego?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Get the book 101 nights of great sex by laura corn. He'll see you looking at it and be intrigued, no won't have to say anything

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • The trick is to be honest without being hurtful.

    Try suggesting things when you're in bed together. If you want oral suggest it. Ask him to do it. Start the foreplay yourself. He might not do it because he might not know how to do it right. Show him.

    Answer by amethystrse at 2:57 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Slow things down.
    Why are you letting him inside you without foreplay and oral? Why are you letting it be over before you're satisfied?
    What are YOU doing to spice things up??
    If you're not satisfied why aren't you taking control of things? Hopping on top? Showing him what you like?
    When was the last time you went to a passion party and brought home a whole bunch of new goodies for you guys to try out together?

    Answer by Liyoness at 3:01 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I agree with the book idea. Let him know you are getting bored and you want to try some new and exciting things in bed. Ask him about any sexual fantasies he's always had and if you can try to fullfill them. Tell him your fantasies and include some of those things you mentioned.

    Also, may hump day your try something new day. New position, new toy, new tounge flick, new warm/cold sensation...the list goes on and he will have to research some new stuff too!

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:21 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • i have had this problem in a past relationship... and what i did was not tell him, but just show him differnt things to see which he liked... i just made sure that he new it wasnt all him, it was me too...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Why is it always his problem? Maybe he just isn't that into her anymore. Have you let yourself go?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • People get into a routine. And human beings are lazy in that they're likely to do things in the easiest way possible with the least amount of effort
    There are probably quite a few factors leading to the lack of interest in bed. Too little time/energy; kids; jobs; financial or other stresses; boredom; lack of variety...
    Try something new, or find a sitter and run off to a hotel for a quick romantic weekend. That should bring the spice back right away. The book idea is good too. The most important thing is to speak honestly with your hubby, and make it about you and your desires. Do not make it about him and how he's not fulfilling you.
    And for the one that asked if she "let herself go" get over yourself. There is some truth to the fact that changes in bodies over time have effect on the libido, there is no reason to blame her for that. Keep a little mystery in your clothing and habits that shouldn't matter...

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 7:34 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • waiting for him in a sexy teddy, you rent porn and ask him to watch it with you or have him just watch you (like a peeping tom)'s a huge turn on (for me) to be watched then the "peeping tom" could come in the room and just have raw/hot talking

    Answer by sassymom000 at 8:05 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • you gus are great- i too have this problem- i think he's just young and doesnt know- and im to shy to suggest- thanx for the ideas!
    oh and letting yourself go shouldnt be a reson for unfulfilled sex- why would you even say that! not everyone can stay looking like a model- true love is supose to see threw that!

    Answer by KITTYLITTLES at 3:47 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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