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after having a baby is it normal to lose interest in your partner? Or him losing interest in you. lately it seems like he just come home to bathand eat but its too late to play with the baby??what should i do ? move on?

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mukmukmommy30

Asked by mukmukmommy30 at 3:44 AM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Don't move on just yet if thats all thats wrong. This is something you two should be able to work out. I lost interest and it took communication to get that interest back. We made a list of 5 - 10 things we expect from each other and on my list was for him to spend time with the baby every day sometime in the evening. Its normal for men to take longer bonding with their baby. Just think, you had 9 months to bond with it and your SO is just starting that process so give him some time!
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:51 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Its going to take some time. all new parents have to adjust. men can feel pushed aside & a long list of other emotions, talk to him about it, ask how work is going, and try to re-start the relationship, if sex has stoped he may see you as a "mother" now & is feeling odd about looking at you in a sexual way. Men just sometimes feel like the 3rd wheel & can act strangely.. It took my DH time to pay attention to DD, he would help with her when she would cry but not much more..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 7:21 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Yup, it's normal. You're both exhausted and dealing with a lot of new experiences. Many people find it difficult to do more than eat, sleep and work. Give it awhile.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I wouldn't leave yet. I was probably guilty of doing the same things your husband/SO does to you...I was just so tired that there was no time for him...when he came home and I had a chance to take a shower and do my homework in peace, it was like "thank god my hands are free" and I wasn't thinking a thing about our relationship. My SO wasn't even the father of my daughter...he was my high school sweetheart that came back around shortly after her birth and he put up with it because he knew the reasons behind it. I think your relationship will be stronger at the end of it for having gone through all the tiredness and struggles of becoming parents together. Sounds like you're in the pit of it right now, so give it a chance to get better.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:45 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • this is normal, give it time. and see above posters.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:51 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Honney,
    You have to remember that things are different now! It is no longer just you and him! So the way it was before is long gone. Also, remember that you just had a baby, so what you might be feeling right now, might be signs of the postpardum depression. Also, men are weird, I have experienced this and also have had friends SO do the same thing. Men are really scared of babies, they dont want to hold or play with them because they are afraid they are going to hurt them. I delt with this for a solid ten months until my SO was comfortable playing with our DD. Be paitent, there will be a time to where it gets better. Surround yourself with positive people and get out of the house when you can to together with friends and family that you love
    leighannarobey

    Answer by leighannarobey at 1:15 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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