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Any ideas on how you tell your children you have cancer. I have 3 kids (22b 16g 12b). I have been sick for a few months and they all know that. I went to the Drs. All she talked about was cancer. have a large tumor in my L ovary and a small one in my R ovary. I am not telling them till I know for sure. They suspect something, because I have been so sick. we just lost a very close friend in sept and my 12 yr old sons Baseball coach died 2 years ago from cancer. I mentioned that I have tumors and he automatically connected the 2. He went to school and told his teachers I was dieing. I told him that I am okay and that I will let him know as soon as I find out for sure. I never mentioned to any of my kids that Dr is certain that I have it. Any ideas to lighten the blow a little?

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connietrrll

Asked by connietrrll at 4:54 AM on Jan. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Unless you know for sure that its cancer I wouldn't say anything to them for sure. wait until you have testing done to see if it is cancer. You may just need a Hysterectomy. They told me I had tumors too. so they removed mine and it turned to be not thing. Seriously if the Doctors really thought it was Cancer you would been in the hospital having them removed. I don't why they would be just talking about to you anyways unless they knew 100% for sure.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • While I don't have any answers on how to help you with this, I just wanted to send you my thoughts and prayers. I hope your doctor is wrong.

    Good luck and strength, no matter what may come.
    AnnieMcD

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 7:38 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • until you know for sure I wouldn't tell them. Your kids are old enough to be told the truth so I say when you get your diagnosis sit them down and let them know what exactly is going on. Hugs I wish you the best.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 8:41 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • just wanted to send you prayers. My heart goes out to you and your family.
    leeleesboys

    Answer by leeleesboys at 9:20 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • This is very sad and hard. But you need to tell your kids the truth. They need time to deal. Also, I would schedule them appointments to meet with a therapist. It will help them deal with the situation and put it in terms they can understand. It also gives them an outlet other than you. I would already have the appointments made, then I would sit down and tell them the whole truth factually, then tell them they are gonna meet with someone to talk through their feelings.

    God bless you dear.
    lauralii99

    Answer by lauralii99 at 10:19 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Until you find out for sure, you should not tell them. If you find out it is not cancer, then they do not have to know, because the fact that it might have been will still be too scary. Now let's consider if it is, then what. After you have cried for a while and gotten yourself under control. When you feel you can talk calmly. then you tell them. Keep it matter of fact. Be honest but not dramatic. Keep it as light as you can. Anything you say or indicate by body language will be interpreted and blown way up, so say it, ask if they have questions, tell them if they do have questions later to come and ask. Look them in the eye when you are talking about it. They are not adults and should not be burdened with comforting you, your job is to comfort them. I am a survivor, myself, so these words are spoken with great caring and with sincere hopes and prayers for you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:19 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I just recently lost my Mom to cancer (Dec. 27); wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    I would let your children know that the drs. have found tumors; but they are not yet sure if it is cancer. Explain the procedures and testing that needs to be done in order to confirm whether or not it's cancer. Then, explain the next steps if the Dr.'s do find that it is cancer. I firmly believe that your children experiencing your illness hurts and confuses them more than not knowing and understanding the truth.

    Your dr. should have discusssed the POSSIBILITY that you have cancer - not go on about it when the tests haven't come back.

    You might want to check out the American Cancer Society web site - they have lot's of information on how to discuss cancer.

    Again, I wish you the best!
    AshleyBabydoll

    Answer by AshleyBabydoll at 11:32 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Tell them anyway. It's better to prepare. My aunt is sick right now. We don't know what, but we do know it is cancer. My cousins came up as soon as they find out to visit and have been coming every weekend. They want to know what's going on and help out any way they can. I think they would have been very hurt if the found out later and didn't get to spend any time with her right now. Plus they all seem like they are old enough to handle it, and it isn't somehting you should be going through alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • My mom had cancer when I was younger and I can tell you that knowing that your mom is sick but not knowing why is scarier in some ways than being told. Yes, it is difficult to tell them, especially when you don't know exactly what is going on yourself, but I think it is important to keep them informed so that they have the facts. I think that AshleyBabydoll's suggestions on what to tell them and how are very good.
    jessradtke

    Answer by jessradtke at 9:51 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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