Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you keep from losing control with your naughty child?

My toddler is a whiner! All day he whines and whines. When he's not whineing hes destroying something or bothering his baby brother. some days I just can't handle it. While I am wrestling him into his car seat and he's screaming and kicking me I get the urge to strangle him. I don't want to litterally kill him, but really I feel like I could hurt him. this thought scares me to death. I have even gotten to the point of squeezing his arm a bit too hard when he is misbehaving. my hubby reminds me that he is just a kid and that is not making it easier. anyone have any tips for controling all the rage? Should I go to counceling? Is this normal. I am not a violent person so please don't ridicule me, I just need some advice.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • You need to practice the discipline of spanking. You decide what is a spankable offence. Kicking, hitting and screaming definitely qualify. When he commits the offence, you spank him on his bare leg or behind, hard enough to make it sting. You do it before you become angry and with the knowledge that the purpose for it is to teach him that his behavior is unacceptable. If you will do that consistently for a few times, he will stop the behavior. Children have to be taught to respect the authority of their parents. It can then be transferred to teachers, coaches, and others. If you will begin now, you will save yourself and the child a lot of heartache later on. The old saying that spanking hurts the parent more than the child is true, but you can do it with the knowledge that you are helping your child learn to accept responsibility for his behavior. It works!!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:16 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • At least from what I know of, what you are feeling is totally normal. We all have those times when we have just had it and want to strangle the child. My kids are 9, 8, and 2 and I will tell you my 9yo is the worst one at the moment. Everything is either a fight, or a debate if he gets his way. I have told him things such as "I love you, but I really do not like you right now", " If I had enough rope I would so hang you by your big toes from the basement pipes, give you one good push to make you swing and leave you there until tomorrow". He just has the talent to push my buttons. What I have started to do for all three of my kids (since the other 2 learn from their big brother) is to take a time out. I will send them to their room, put on something that will entertain them while I take a breather, send them outside to play, or go have a smoke outside in the fresh air. The key is to step back and breath.

    Answer by vbongard at 8:28 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • (con't lol) When putting your son in the car: If he starts to throw a fit, hit or kick put him in his seat but do not do anything else. do not buckle him in or anything. make him look at you (gently if you have to touch him cause I tend to be rougher when upset and do not mean too) and tell him in your stern mom voice "no, you do not hit mom", tell him what you all are going to do (why you want him in the car), and that you are not going until he calms down and behaves. Then the key is that you wait where you are until he is calm. If you are in a rush, then put him in his car seat, with firm commands of "NO, you do not hit/kick/bite mom" but do not say anything else. Put yourself in the car, and start to leave. Then if he is still throwing a fit ask him if he is done. (this totally threw off my kids when they were young and they would either stop or say no and I would tell them to let me know when they were finished...

    Answer by vbongard at 8:35 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • (con't lol, I am so long winded today) when they start to calm down, I ask them if they are finished and if they say yes, I tell them that their attitude is not ok, that they do not hit/kick/bite mom and we talk about it. GL, sorry this was so long

    Answer by vbongard at 8:39 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Completely normal - sorry!

    No therapy for you - just take a breath, remind yourself it's not personal NOR is it a reflection on you as a mother.........

    And hang out with me - I've got a crazy Momma ROAR and I tend to swat my kids - very mother-bear-ish.

    You can get through this.

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:40 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Deep breaths. It helped me when my DS was going through his goober stage to expect the tantrums. Not to say that it's acceptable, but if I knew he was going to fight me every time I put him in his carseat (which he did), then I could plan for it. If I knew he was going to pitch a fit because I said no, then it was easier to calmly put him in his room until he was done. There were still times that I wanted to sell him on eBay, but it helped.

    Answer by flmom321 at 8:44 AM on Jan. 29, 2009


    I heart FLmom321 the most - LISTEN to her. She knows of what she speaks.

    we rock


    Answer by Wimsey at 8:46 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • blowing kissesThanks, Wimsey!


    Answer by flmom321 at 8:58 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • keep repeating to yourself- I love my child, i do i do- over and over again until he has become a dad of his own then laugh at him when he calls complaining about his goober

    Answer by mamak57 at 9:06 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • There have been times I have put the boys in time out and walked away...telling them that I am too angry right now and that I will be back to them in a minute. I then walk into another room, clench my fists and breathe....a LOT. I currently have a 4, 3 and 2 year old....there are days when it's almost impossible (it seems) to control my temper....but it comes with practice.

    The key is that you realize you're losing control...and you can do something to stop it before you've lost it!!

    Carseats...put him in, buckle him in but don't say a word. I've noticed the few times I've had this problem, that me not speaking, simply buckling them, is usually enough for them to get the idea that I am NOT happy....

    Oh...and they know the "evil eye" look pretty well kind of stops them by itself...

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 9:31 AM on Jan. 29, 2009