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I found out my SO was cheating on me last week. We haven't spoken or seen each other since. Problem is.. I have his kids..

He texted me earlier today asking if I minded if he came over.
Do I have a right to say NO? I am not ready to see him but again, I have his kids..

What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • That sounds like an excuse on his part not to fully commit. The minute the pregnacy test came back positive he was in a committed relationship, whether he likes it or not. Marriage just names your family. He needs to become a man. Not neccessarily your man, that is up to you. Real men honor their committments. Real men know that games like this are for boys. You may not work out, but maybe your role here is to help him grow up and show him that you value yourself if even if he doesn't. You deserve a man who will adore you

    Answer by Bea62 at 11:12 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Can't you just meet him somewhere netural with the kids? Does he want to take them back? Are they his and you are the step-mom?

    More words please!

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:07 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • He is still ur children's father no matter what u and him are going through so let him be a father, take care of his kids and be in his children's lives. U have 2 be strong and if u don't wanna talk to him then don't, but let him interact with his kids. When you're ready to talk to him then do so. Good luck.

    Answer by ms.busybody at 10:09 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • We both have our own homes but it's about an hr drive apart.. He lives two blocks away from his job so he stays there during the week and comes here on weekends to spend time with me and the kids. The kids live with me. We are both their biologiacal parents.

    I don't want to meet him in a neutral spot because I dont want to see him at all.. period..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Do you have a trusted friend or relative that can make the drive with the kids?

    (I'm totally ignoring the two homes thing.....)

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:15 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • If they r his then the are to be with him as long as he is not abusive...not to be mean or hateful really just being truthful looking from the outside. it seems that you are trying to be a little controlling and revengeful which is understandable but don't do it with his kids. You say that you don't want to see him but I think you might be saying I am keeping his kids from him because he hurt me. You are their step-mother not legal parent unless you have adopted them which it doesn't sound like you have. Even though you are hurting right need to kind of "sack-up" and do the right thing and give him his children. Once you do that cut all ties with him if you don't want to work it out. I am sorry that he did this to you!:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • LOL.. Yea, I know. In the beginning I begged him to move here but he always says its so convenient for him to get to work which is 2 blocks away. His mother lives close by to him too and his apt is so small there is no way me and he kids could live there. After 6 years I have gotten use to it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I still vote for friend/relative to do the transfer - kids do NOT need that kind of drama.

    Good luck!

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:23 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

    Where is he step-mom thing coming from? lol

    I wouldn't want to keep the kids from him. He is a god dad and takes care of us like you wouldn't believe. I am just really not ready to see him. I am so disgusted and so hurt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Lmao. I wish everyone would stop saying step mom too. U said ur SO which means y'all aren't married. I think some people need to read the question then stop and think about it before they answer. No offense Mommy's

    Answer by ms.busybody at 10:31 AM on Jan. 29, 2009