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Will you/Did you stop family birthday parties at a certain age?

My youngest is turning 8 next month, and I'm still undecided on what to do to celebrate. I haven't thrown a family birthday party in quite a while due to lack of space, and I'm not entirely convinced DH's side of the family would bother attending :/ I know only my mom from my side would be able to come, and it's really not much of a party with just 4 people, although we have always celebrated in the past with just the 4 of us.

My oldest turns 11 in September and he's already planning a party for his friends and has told me he has no interest in a family party.

Do you think there's a certain age children reach where a party for friends only is more appropriate, or will you continue to throw one party, or two, til they're grown? Or beyond?


Asked by Ginger0104 at 9:01 AM on May. 27, 2012 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • Personally for me it is when they ask to not have the family party. My children are very close with all their cousins and at 5 and 7 years old request for them to be there. Around here not many people do parties for friends any way at all. We always invite a few friends from school etc along with the family and have them together.

    Answer by aeneva at 9:06 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • My children are grown and we still have a family party. It is just their favorite meal that I make and a birthday cake and giving presents, but it is a family time. If some of the extended family can't make it, that is OK.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:09 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • I'm just figuring that at some point my kid will only want a party with friends.

    Answer by SWasson at 9:10 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • I doubt I'll be able to. My partner's family continues with parties ad nauseam. And if they miss a birthday for any reason they feel obliged to group it together with the next birthday. I caused quite a fuss last year when I said a resounding "NO!" to that. Honestly, if we missed 19 year old and 23 year old nieces' birthdays because of summer holidays then TUFF. There was no way I was going to group their birthdays (15th August and 12th August respectively) with my 9 year old daughters' birthday party mid-October. I feel that at nine you can expect a party to be about you (especially when you have to share it with your twin) so why should you have to share it with a couple of adults too? So tha family took umbrage and held their birthday parties along with another niece's party (she was 17) at the end of November. Seems to me that they're trying too hard ... or that they just want to squeeze presents out of everyone.

    Answer by winterglow at 9:15 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • To answer your question, I think we'll probably stop the family parties when my FIL is no longer with us (he's 89 this year) because it was only for him that we started doing it in the first place ...

    Answer by winterglow at 9:16 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • My son has had 1 friend party in 16 years, not by choice but circumstance. His birthday is July 4th and unless I plan the party for a month before or after his birthday, not many people are around.

    This year we are having a big party because it's a big birthday.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:26 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • When they mention no family is the right time to stop inviting family. It's their birthday and within reason they should have it anyway they want.

    Answer by meooma at 11:01 AM on May. 27, 2012

  • Yes, when they quit wanting them.

    Answer by Sarah961 at 3:11 PM on May. 27, 2012

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