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How do you feel about keeping the father of your child away from your child?

I have a friend who has an 18 month old and refueses to let the guy in the childs life.. I personaly grew up with an exellent father.. I dont feel that keeping the kid away from the father is good. She never had a dad growing up so I get where she's coming from about not "needing" a dad. But I thnk she should let him atleast see the kid send him pictures and such..
Oh another things is she refueses to tellown father that he is a grandpa..
I dont get it.. I am sorry about rambling and suchBut I am confused can you help me out with yoru experiance. I Rarely bring it up to her But I just feel she should let the guys in thier lives/.... Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • she hasnt told her own father yet sorry for the messy writing
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • The way I feel about is that it is wrong and that girls shouldn't do it. However, I feel that if a mother is doing that then the Father needs to take her to court and fight to see his son/daughter. I get mad when I hear guys say "she won't let me see him or her," Then do something about it!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • She has an 18 month old and her own parents don't know?

    Wow.

    Well, there you go.

    Having a baby does not make you smart.

    I would stay out of her drama and just continue to be a positive influence.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:46 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • i would agree with wimsey but i do not know the your friends and the father of the baby's situation.

    im hoping that she is witholding the baby because of good reasons, not just for no reason.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:52 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I heartily believe that a father is essential for every child - or a father-figure somewhere prominent in their lives. ... BUT ... we should be careful about cultivating a child's love and adoration for a person just because he's the biological father - if he is not going to be a loving and daily presence in the child's life, then the child can only feel the pain of missing someone they are bonded to - the constant message to the child is "You're not worth his time or attention". So I feel cautious about children's relationships with absent dads, whether from divorce or otherwise. Our society is altogether too careless about the reality of children's bonds of affection. ... So I am 50-50 about what this mother is doing: it would be way better for her child to have a father, but unless he's living in the child's home the bio-dad is not Daddy ... and the mother may be aware of how good a person this man is, as well ...
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 1:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Wimsey is right again! Sounds like this person is using the baby (or the knowledge of the baby) as a pawn to punish some men in her life..... that's sad. But then there may be reason's that we are not aware of....

    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:21 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Is the baby's father abusive?
    In and out of jail?

    If he's not a bad guy, I don't see why she can't just let him see his own child. She should be happy he WANTS to see his child. Most guys just don't want anything to dowith them in that kind of situation.
    As for not telling her own father? Well that's her choice, but not a good one.
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 2:23 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • My son's biological father has no contact with him and that's my choosing, but because he is a drug dealing, using, abusive, alcoholic jerk. If he's a good guy and WANTS to be a part of his babies life, he needs to take action and take her to court. As far as her dad, that's a personal decision that she can't be forced into, but the dad has parental rights.
    katimae

    Answer by katimae at 3:31 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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