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Any other stay at home mom's feel the same way??

Hi, I'm 29 yrs old..almost 30! I'm a stay at home mom to my amazing baby boy, he's 8 months old. I'm trying to get a grip on my depressed feeling I have everyday. It's not severe at all..it's just a nagging feeling like I don't have a life anymore. I mean outside of being a mommy and a fiance (and yes I'm in love) I've lost the desire for sex as well. I LOVE my life, more then I did before..but I feel like I'm missing out on "fun" like I used to. Going out, or just going to star bucks and relaxing with my favorite latte with a girl friend...that type of thing. Is it normal to feel this way, I'm feeling guilty!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Hunny I'm 23 and a SAHM to 2 toddlers and feel that way already. As of 2 weeks ago I take Saturdays and take one of the girls, so I don't feel stressed with two in tow, go to Borders for their reading time get myself a coffee and a cookie for who I have with me. We listen to the stories and do the activities they have sometimes and then just mob around the strip up there. Almost no money, except the coffee and cookie, and kinda gives me the opp. to almost get out for a few hours and enjoy my DD's. Rather than playing Super MOM all the time. My rejuvenation period of the week I guess you can call it.
    watersgirls

    Answer by watersgirls at 2:01 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Having a baby is a huge ife changing event and I dont think you need anyone to tell you that. As with all stressors people react differently. I think for some people the way you feel is very normal, for others it isnt. We arents all built the same. The best advice I can give you is to make time for yourself and maybe go out once a week with a gf for that latte when your fiance is home and can watch the baby. I do that and it helps alot and I find myself missing the kids even for that hour or two. It puts things in perspective.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:58 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • totally. it's hard not to now that in the days of facebook and myspace you see all the stuff your single or childless friends are doing. ahhhh disposable income! i don't even remember what that's like anymore!!!
    juliness

    Answer by juliness at 1:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I don't necessarily feel guilty but I sometimes feel like I have NO friends because they are all working. Winter time is the worst for me because I can't get out of the house plus we only have one car. I too have no sex drive, I don't know why but it's a fighting point...I could probably go on, but yes I do feel the same way.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 1:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • It's totally normal to feel this way. Try finding a Mother's Day Out at a local church so you can have a little "me" time. Get a babysitter one evening a week/month whatever you are comfortable with and have a night out with either the girls or your fiance.
    LolosMom

    Answer by LolosMom at 1:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • these are all GREAT answers! I hear ya juliness about the facebook etc, that used to be me lol.
    I had something going on all the time, with my girl friends. After having my son, everything changed..and my fiance is so supportive about me going to do stuff, he always will watch our son. But my friends have all changed or moved away. I have made 2 wonderful new friends that I've known from the past, one has an 11 month old, and the other has a baby in the oven..funny how kids can bring people back together. I guess I need to make more "me" time!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • But why do we lose our sex drive so much...even though I love my fiance, and wouldn't want to live a minute of my life without him!!! I don't get it..I used to be like a sex maniac ahahah.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Yes it is very normal. It will get better. Although Im not in your position now, I have been there and it got better once I started visiting other moms who felt the same way. It also gets a little easier the older the baby gets. There will be many more things to do with your child as they get older and it will keep you busy. Sounds like you are generally happy which it a great thing. Hold that thought!!! Hang in there because trust me you are not missing out on half as much as you feel like you are. Remember not to get so down that you miss out on the gratest things about being a mommy are. I spent a lot of time taking pics of my baby doing different things thoughout the day. It made my day go faster and kept me busy and kept me involved with the baby. Plus I had tons of pics to show others when I did get the chance. HUGS and Best Wishes.
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 2:05 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Yes, they are normal feelings! i am a SAHM and my daughter is 3 and I get like that all the time! It has gotten better since she started preschool because I do have a couple hours a week to do things that i want to do! You need to start making time for yourself. Some days my husband gets home and I just leave and go somewhere, i don't really have anywhere to go but I will just go to wal-mart or another store and walk around! I just recently joined the gym and that has helped too. She loves going and staying in the daycare! Get you a sitter and call a friend and go to Star Bucks! it will do you a world of good!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Jan. 29, 2009