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Hi, last time i asked a question about my 5 1/2 mnth old , letting her cry when nothing is wrong with her and it's nap time. everyone scolded me and all i was asking for was advice not disrespect or what you do with your child.

I feel like some people on here so so judgmental and rude and are only out to judge and try to feel better about themselves as a parent. well i think thats pure insecurity and you need to check yourself. i am a 19 yr old mom, got pregnant at 18.. i come here for loving and careing advice and good answers, not disrespect, judgment and being downright mean.

anyways, to the woman who are calm, confident about there parenting ways and know some good techniques/answers, help me out please.

If everything is ok with my baby who is 6 months on the 12th of feb and she is well fed, bathed, temps not bad in the room, she has all her comfort around her and the stuff she needs, her diaper is clean, no gas etc. and it's time for nap and shes rubbing her eyes and i put her down lightly in her crib, she doesnt cry and is about to go to sleep but starts crying. how long should i let her cry for? i have never let her cry before.

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Asked by blueside22 at 3:36 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (16)
  • regardless of what some mothers on here tell you and even others in general its ok to let a baby that age cry she needs to learn to sooth herself to sleep at that age. Id let her cry for about 5 to 10 mins then go in pick her up calm her down and then lay her back down in her crib. If she starts to cry again let her go for another 5 to 10 mins then go back in this time dont pick her up just pat her to calm her down. All you can do is keep trying. Your not a bad mom for letting her cry it out they have to learn to sooth themselfs to sleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I let my son cry it out and he sleeps through the night. he goes down with no fussing. He's happy as could be. Tell them to shove it lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Till she goes out.. I will let Jesse cry for like 45mins or more... They just want you to pay attn to them, stand your groud mama... She will start going to sleep by her self if you dont give in... Heck just lastnight i made him a bottle, put him down, 20mins later hes crying cause he heard me in the livingroom, i didnt go in there i turned the monitor on and he cried for 30mins and then sung himself back down... Im a firm cry it outer.. They will go down, but the more times you go in there the more they will cry... Trust me she will get tired and go out, plus if she is stubborn like my boy, this will take a couple of weeks.. LOL But it will happen...

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Read the book sleep sense...great advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Hey, I completely agree with you about some people being judgemental on here! Im 18years old and my daughter is four weeks old.
    As far as the crying...when I took a baby class they said that some babies just cry..for no reason at all. Its just something they go through, they just need to let it out sometimes. Ive also noticed that a lot of the times when I try to put her down she seems like she just likes to be held and feel that body heat and closness.
    Youre doing good though dont worry about that, I know how hard it is -expecially with people giving you crap about you age. GOOD LUCK. :)

    Answer by ArmyWifeNewMom at 3:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I have heard some moms say that the crying it out thing works. Take a little bit longer each time you go to them. The reason for doing it is to teach baby to soothe himself...sooo when he wakes in the middle of night...possibly baby can just go back to sleep.
    Why it is good to go to baby when he crys is because you are building trust. Baby knows you will come to him and you will meet his needs. Sooo just wait a little longer each time...Youc an even call to baby and nicely say something..or not pick up baby but pat his bottom or back...until he goes back to sleep.....this of course is when you know all other needs are met.
    Me...I was a big wimp and just couldnt do it. But we paid for it with sleepless nights as well. So you are Mom and just weigh it out. You know best what your baby needs. I hope this helps.:)

    Answer by Momforhealth at 3:46 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • sometimes all you can do is let them cry it out. in order to maintain your own sanity you have to be able to put the little one down. I found that mine would sleep better during the day in the bouncy seat in the same room as me. at night I would use a mobile or that light up aquarium screen. I also fed them last, directly before bed because i found they'd sleep longer that way, and because i breast fed and it gave me more time before I started leaking.
    Do you let baby have a binky? try checking to make sure her clothes aren't itchy or pulling on her. . temp also may be fine for you but too hot for baby. try lighter clothes for sleeping. try co-sleeping too. mine slept better when in the same room. I did not co-sleep in my bed, my bed was too fluffy but I would have baby fall asleep with me on sofa. when i was ready for bed I put baby in her own crib but she would have been asleep while I watched tv. Good luck

    Answer by LuckyClown at 3:46 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • You may feel that they're judgemental because they're disagreeing with you and it is a pain when someone disagrees with you when you were only trying to ask a question. However, understand the passion behind it. You're asking about a question that deals with "CIO" (crying-it-out) which some women are very passionate against. Some women would go as far as to say it is child abuse (I'm not one of them, I actually agree with CIO). If you honestly believe that something someone is doing is harmful to their child, you're going to be passionate about it right? They respond that way because they care about children. Maybe they could be nicer but just understand. CIO is a very touchy and controversial subject. I've found my doctor to be a wealth of information about sleep and self-soothing. You are your baby's own expert. Let her CIO and use your maternal instincts to tell you what is right. Good luck :-)


    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:48 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • My son hated going to sleep at that age too. Well, not necessarily sleeping, but sleeping in his crib. He'd fall asleep after being fed or in his swing, sometimes he'd wear himself out so much that he'd pass right out in his johnny jumper! He would sleep anywhere but his crib. The second that I'd put him in there he'd start screaming. To everyone who has scolded you, it was THE DOCTOR that told me to let him just cry himself out. That there's nothing wrong with it. When they're brand new babies and eat more often, then no, crying themselves to sleep isn't the way to go. But at six months, when you know that they have had every need met and the only reason why they're crying is because they're not being held, then it's best to just let them cry. Good luck sweety and don't worry about everyone who was mean. You'll be a great mom . . . and you're baby won't be spoiled to the point that she's completely unbearable!

    Answer by lukebelle at 3:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Just because you do not get the "just leave your child to cry until they pass out" does not mean the information given was not good sound educated advice. CIO is cruel and wrong on many levels.  Have you tried or looked into any other methods? No cry sleep solution? Happiest baby on the block? etc etc CIO is the laziest and most damaging of all the methods please look into other methods before attempting something that could lead to more problems.  Good Luck on your decision!


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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