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Has anyone ever had a breaking point with the single parenting? I just need for someone else to tell me they have been there and that it will be okay....

You dont have to be my friend, but I need to know if there are other people out there who have struggled. I am a single mom, and I just am having a hard time. My mother has been an enormous help with me, but Im going through the terrible twos, and I just need to know that there are others who have gotten it. Im feeling like I am not strong enough right now. I need the strength for both of us. Any little advice or help would help more than you would know.

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Asked by Ambyr023 at 3:41 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (12)
  • My baby isnt two yet, but when she was just one week old my husband left for the army. Now THAT has been hard. There are times when I just feel like I CANT do this...but I do. You WILL get through it, just take a deep breath and do what you need to do.

    Answer by ArmyWifeNewMom at 3:48 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I have been there mama... It will all be ok, stay strong, dont give up, thats not what your little one needs eather... Dont worry about what is going on outside of your world, make every day and thing count, it will get easier but it does take time... Dude was in his two/threes when i was in your shoes, i thought i was going nuts most of the time, just be there day in and day out for your little one, they need us, make us laugh, make us cry... But they can also tell when something is wrong... Dont give the world something to bitch about....

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:48 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • You are not alone. I think that all single moms go through that feeling at some point, as well as military wives, and moms whos spouse works long hours. It is ok. What I did was put on a movie for them or something they liked to do and I would take a break. It might be a shower, or chocolate, a cigerette, but it has to be something that you enjoy. I was told with my youngest child that the best thing for a fussy child is fresh air. If you live somewhere that does not feel like the north pole, try taking her for a walk. I tried this and it always works wonders. GL

    Answer by vbongard at 3:51 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I was a single mom, not when they were two though. But I will tell you there were some nights after they went to bed I just sat and cried. I was so tired all the time. Tired of wondering if I was a good enough mom and dad to them, tired of working, tired of being broke, tired my parents even though they helped they got on my nerves with advice and it wasnt meant in harm it was just like omg I KNOW. I just had to push on and you know what? My kids I was a single mom to are teens now and they love me more then anything and tell me all the time how much they know I struggled but I did my best and they are better for it and I KNOW I am a better person for it too.

    Answer by gemgem at 3:52 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I was a single mom of two. a newborn and a two year old. The one thing that kept me sane is once a week I would go out with a friend or do something by myself. if you have reliable childcare (my mom was also super supportive) take a night, just go get dinner at McDonald's even. as a single mom you also have some opportunities that many don't have. you can get grants for college and possible child care vouchers so your son can go to a good daycare while you are in class.
    Some mothers on here talk about the assistance like it's bad, but honestly think about it- would you rather use money put in place for school to get a better job and become self sufficient within 2-4 years or would you rather be a single mom never able to make quite enough and always needing some form of assistance or baby goes without things he needs.
    whatever you do- your baby is not your hinderance- he is your motivation and your opportunity

    Answer by LuckyClown at 3:56 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I was single when my oldest was 2 until she was 5. It was really hard. My mom helped me out some too (I don't know how I would have survived without that support). Since you do have your mom, let her give you a break every once in a while and get together with a friend or just soak in the bathtub with some nice music or a book. Hang in there; it does get easier.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Hi there! Yes, I know exactly how you feel, and as a new member, it helps to know that I'm not alone in my frustrations and experiences, either. I am a single mom, too, and the best advice I can offer is try to find some time for you, even if it's just a few minutes, every day. The mom who mentioned taking a shower, having a piece of chocolate, etc., is right on.
    You're lucky in that it sounds like you have family around. If you can, leverage them as much as possible so you can find little moments here and there to do things by yourself. That alone time is key to keeping your sanity, staying in touch with yourself and remaining secure in your identity as a person outside of being a mom.
    Other advice: try to distract your child when he/she is being trying. Time outs are good, because it gives you and the child a chance to calm down.
    And when you're at the end of patience, go into another room and breathe! Hope this helps

    Answer by BrennysmominLA at 4:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • LuckyClown is right - going back to school is a terrific thing to do. It isn't easy, but it makes you feel good to be working towards something that will improve your life. It makes you stronger and more sure of yourself, and just think about what a good role model you will be for your child!. I'm glad my daughter saw me struggling to get through school; she learned a lot more from watching me do it than she ever would have learned from just hearing about it.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:09 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • thanks tween, when i was in highschool my mom went back to college for her associates... that inspired me to go to college
    then when i started college i in turn inspired my mom to go for her bachelors as well... we both graduate with our bachelors degrees in may.
    Happy to say that currently the only assistance i am recieving is my school grants. I got off everything else in less than three years.

    Answer by LuckyClown at 4:27 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • im not to the terrible twos yet but i know how you are feeling it sucks but you gotta keep going the only way i make it is i think if i cant do it anymore who will take care of my baby and what will i miss out on no it doesnt always help but like some others have already said take a night if you cant do a night do a couple hours and clear your mind even if all you do is walk around a park, mall, ect atleast you can go back and be focused on whats important good luck and i hope everything works out for you

    Answer by bugbug07 at 4:43 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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