How old is to old for my daughter to be peeing on herself?

wow what horrible advice...but anyways I will tell you from personal experience with myself that there might be much more to her behavior than the lazy part....

It sounds like they did rule out physical issues, but that does not rule out emotional.
Saying "lazy" puts it on the child. Even if it's "just" a power struggle, and she's acting out her emotional issues about control/punishment in other areas, it's not "laziness"--it's acting out! Acting out comes from an emotional source. ("Misbehaving" SEEMS to imply will or choice, and "acting out" has come to mean the same for parents. "Oh, she's acting out" as if it means choosing to misbehave. While the term originally was adopted to imply more graphically what is going on WITH "misbehavior"--that children are literally "acting out" an emotional state of feeling disconnected, unhappy, frustrated, angry, misunderstood, alienated, etc. Think charades or a dramatic representation of an inner condition. Think "asking for help.")

My advice would be to take any struggle out of it, including over cleanup. Clearly remove any negativity.

MAKE her stop what she's doing and go potty every hour. Have her go before you leave the house and as soon as you get where you're going. I wouldn't say she's lazy, she just doesn't want to stop what she's doing to go potty. Both of my kids went through this phase. They got over it quickly though when they realized that all their stuff was just the way they left it when I pulled them away from what they were doing.

If she has never really been potty trained, SHE is not the problem. Kids do not potty train themselves. They need to be taught.

Well, I think what concerns me the most is that it's been going on for a while and you say there is no physical reason for it. So, if she just had accidents, okay, weak bladder maybe or just an immature system.

I think she's likely very embarrassed by this. And you're probably frustrated and she's picking up on that. Kids really want to please us and, even if it's something beyond her control, she may be feeling at fault for it.

There are some good medications out there for this. And I'm appalled that your doctor hasn't even explained that option to you

Find a new doctor! That is awful advice. Is she delayed in any other way? Some kids just have issues with not feeling the need to go.

i vote for a second opinion! she probably has a bladder problem and the dr you're seeing now (sorry this is my opinion) sounds like a quack!