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Need some advise....

I have been married for almost 4 yrs. Since 5mths after we married my husband started doing things I consider cheating. Asking other women for naked pics, sexual based conversations, joining sites like Online Booty Call, sending naked pics of himself to another woman...to name just a few of his activities. To my knowledge he has never physically cheated but just the same. I have told him for the last 2 yrs that if he didn't stop I'd leave n find some1 who would treat me right. I left in July 08. In Sept. I started seeing a guy that does treat me right, who always treats me with love and respect and I am finally happy. My husband keeps saying he is sorry and that I need to give him another chance. I have two daughters that live with me and want to set a good example for them. I haven't been a perfect partner; but I have stood by him thru a deployment and a overseas tour. Does he deserve another chance?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • im sorry but i would not put up with this thats b/s ok and if he needs other people to make him horny you dont need him no dont get back wid him your happy ? ok leve him out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • IMO. You gave him four years of chances. So NO, he doesn't deserve any more chances.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • nope as far as i am concerned all the warnings you gave him before you left was chance enough. you foud a great guy keep him
    JAJA_Steele

    Answer by JAJA_Steele at 4:38 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • No, do not go back. You already made the break (applause) and going back and forth will be worse on your kids. Let someone else deal with his crap. What he did to you is incredibly disrespectful and history repeats itself and he's likely to do it again. Seems like you have a nice guy in your life but more than that, you need to be happy alone with your kids and not made happy by a man. It is so important to be independent. Really, don't do it. What makes you think he'll actually change? It's just too disrespectful in my humble opinion.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:38 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • set the example for your daughters that being treated like that is NOT ok and stay where you are happy not where u are guilted in to being
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 5:04 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I was in a similiar situation many years ago.My husband was a cheat & kept coming & going(especially when he'd see me trying to move on w/ someone better).I'd almost go back b/c of the kids & I wanted to believe that he did change.It took 3 years after I left to totally get him out of our lives.Yes,it was hard & he pulled on my strings alot but I finally woke up.After I did I felt so much better.I'm not saying it won't be tough-its one of the hardest things I ever did.But-you & the kids deserve the best.Ask yourself(which you have)if you'd settle for your little girls to be treated this way.Probably not-why should you accept any different.I also had boys & didn't want them to think it was o.k to treat a person this way.By getting myself to see that its not always best for mommy/daddy to always be together it helped me realize its o.k to move on-& by doing that I got to meet my dream husband-who treats us like we all deserve.
    soldiersgirl531

    Answer by soldiersgirl531 at 5:12 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Thank you all for you answers. I know I made the best decision for myself and my girls and you are right, soldiersgirl, I would hurt someone for treating my babies like he has treated me. I guess I'm just feeling guilty for leaving him the way that I did. He has been given SOOOOOO many chances and it's never changed. Less than 36 hours after he got home for R&R he was asking one woman to sleep with him and looking for single women within 25 miles of where he was staying. So, I have no reason to believe that he's going to change at all because he hasn't. What aggrevates me is so many people see him as this awesome guy that has been hurt by a ***** like me and he's not as perfect as they think he is. I've gotten chewed out and have been (my feelings) forced to end a lot of friendships because of this. It hurts that (1)things have turned out like they have and (2)I lost a lot of "friends" because of it all. Thanks again everyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • it sounds like sex addiction and if he doesnt get help he wont really stop.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 5:38 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • We have had more arguments over this than we did anything else. I told him that he has a seriuos problem and to get help....talk to a chaplin, a counselor or SOMEONE! Just talk and figure out the why, where it comes from and figure out a way to fix it. If it wasn't for this continuous b/s we would have had few other issues. But, while he is talking to a chaplin about his "problem" I really don't think he believes that it's as bad as it is. Or that it can get worse. I tried to help him but I'm not a professional, I was just his wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • No! Don't take him back, especially if you are in a happy relationship now.
    happymom0724

    Answer by happymom0724 at 9:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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