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My 7 year old son has become aggresive in school and not listening either. I do not know what to do. His father and I are not together but he gets to spend time with him. I do not know what to do. It is hard trying to find out what is going on , with a 3 year old little girl that wants all my attention too! Help Please

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mommieof1129

Asked by mommieof1129 at 4:52 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (13)
  • You have to make time for just him and find out! Communication is the key!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 5:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Maybe that's the problem, that your giving all your attention to the 3 year old maybe he feels left out and unloved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Try spending some time with just him... talk to him....
    Maybe you can do a mother/son day once a month ...

    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 5:34 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Talk to him every night before sleeping, ask him "what is the best and worse thing today" It takes time to figure it out but it helps to understand his feelings. Also -a big hug- just before sleeping.
    gingercakegirl

    Answer by gingercakegirl at 6:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Good Luck. If you find an answer please let me know. I have an 11yr. and a 6 yr. old and have the same problem with my 11yr. I take him on Mama/son dates, along with rewarding him for things that he does, but not in front of my 6yr. A mommy/son secret. I have a secret book box with my 6yr. I constantly hear, 'you love him more' or ' how come you don't make him do this/that?' I'm already very ill/disabled and good days are hard to come by, & really don't need this. I try to tell him that for 5yrs he had us, just me and daddy & his brother hasn't had that. But it hasn't mattered. I still hear it. He is always concentrating on what his brother is doing and not what he needs to be doing. There for gets in trouble for back talking or not paying attention to the task he is suppose to be doing. So if you find out or anyone else reads this...and knows what might work...LET ME KNOW!!!

    Sweet_Peach

    Answer by Sweet_Peach at 6:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • HI! I just wanted you to know you are not alone and to just offer support. i have a 6 year old boy and a 3 year old girl and what struck me is how you said she needs your attention. i so know how that goes and i just don't know how you do it alone. that is a tough one. because i know i am always having to help her with the potty, or put her to bed earlier. All i can offer is to find some time that you can all spend together peacefully. for instance we are having issues with my son not behaving at school for the last 2 days and i found a suggestion i am going to try. in the morning make sure you make time for some hugging and cuddling before you go out the door. now i KNOW this is a hard one because our mornings SUCK...we are all always rushing around like crazy people. i will also try an earlier bedtime...i'm pushing the bedtime back tonight and make sure in the mornings we can snuggle before we go. best n props 2 U
    Vickalini

    Answer by Vickalini at 7:24 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • You need to bring this to his dad's attention. A strong father (or father figure) that is in your son's life everyday will help him to learn to control his behavior. Let's just say it's a guy-thing and all the mother-talk in the world isn't going to make the impact a heart-to-heart with another "man" will.

    A really good book on the subject is : Boys Should Be Boys: Seven Secrets To Raising Healthy Sons by Meg Meeker, MD

    (Meg Meeker is a pediatrician, by the way)
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 7:28 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I personally think that you should talk to him at night and tell him that you love him to and make him understand that u need him and his sister and that he need to understand that his mommy and daddy are not together anymore and that he has a sister
    womenrule

    Answer by womenrule at 11:10 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Did he have a long term relationship with dad at home? Did you and dad just split up? Is this new behavior Or has son always been alittle more full of energy and "aggressive"? What exactly is happening at school? Does he need to learn how to redirect his anger and energy? Is it only at school or does he act out at home too? I would def try the night time talking. Asking him one good thing and one bad thing. Keep a journal for a couple weeks and see what the "bad things are". Mabey there is something that sets him off. IF he is being agressive at school, talk with teacher and ask her what the school district offers. My daughter has a "special friend" she see's once a week at school. Try rewarding him for good things tht happen. Even insignificant as putting the top back on the toothpaste. Notice it.......tell him thanks. Good Luck!
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:52 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • i would also recommend to all moms with boys "Raising Cain, the emotional life of boys" Wonderful book with Fantastic insights.

    Vickalini

    Answer by Vickalini at 2:58 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

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