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i yell sooo much at my kids thats all i do i am afraid to smack them i was abused when i was a kid and they do not listen to a thing i have tried not yelling but i still end up yelling and they still dont listen i am so frustrated i am about to give up what can i do

my kids dont listen i am yelling there is 3 against me what more can i do please somebody help me

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auntmeme611

Asked by auntmeme611 at 5:51 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • How old are your children? 
    Does their father help with discipline?  Maybe having the children go to their rooms, not allowing them special activities may get them to listen a bit more...
    Have you thought about a family counselor? a third party person...


     

    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 6:02 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Screaming doesn't help, you need to get control of your kids. Spanking is an effective form of discipline and giving them a swat on the butt is not even close to abuse. If you don't want to spank then I would make them stand in the corner and if they mouth off wash their mouths out with soap. I would also take everything out of their rooms except their bed and dresser and make them earn everything back.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I read that kids just tune a parent out who yells. Especially if that parent is yelling at them from another room.

    An approach that's recommended is to stop whatever YOU are doing and go to the child and get down so you're looking them in the EYES and tell them in a calm but FIRM voice that you will not tolerate_____ and you expect them to stop right now. Tell them the consequence if they don't. Then FOLLOW THROUGH with the consequence immediately if they continue.

    If you use this approach consistently, they say kids will know you mean business and will listen to what you have to say....without yelling. :-D

    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 6:19 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Welll obviously you know screaming doesnt do any good. Since you were abused Ican understand how you feel about spanking, in fact I feel the same way. What helped me alot was reading some books on chidhood development and discipline. Consistency not yelling or spanking is what makes or breaks a relationship and respect between a parent and child. So lets say you dont want your child to touch a knick knack, you say "Dont touch that or Iam going to take this from you" then they touch it and you take whatever it was from them. Give them clear cut rules. You dont need to ever yell at them if you have rules outlined and follow through with punishments.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:21 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • hey first of all calm down and realize you are human and we all make mistakes and fall short. but to be honest with your girl i fully understand. but you have to know deep in your heart that the screaming and yelling is not the answer. you need to figure where you and your kids bump heads the most. come with an alternative. example: taking special things away from them like spending time with friends, cell phone, computer, ipods and etc. also you need to remember when you was a child when your parents told you one thing you might have listen but you might have also did the opposite because you though you was "grown". but some kids are just looking for more attention and one on one time with mom or dad. so talk with your kids and see wahts in the mind and play off that.
    txdelta

    Answer by txdelta at 6:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Try reading the book 'Grace Based Parenting'. I don't know the author but it may help or the book 'How to Make Your Child Mind Without Loosing Yours' is good to.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Be calm and spank them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Point out that things like TV, video games and toys etc are all privileges not rights, that can be taken away. Enforce it. They may scream, but trust me it get's better. Just stick to your guns. They don't do what you say, start taking away...
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Why are they out of control? Did you ever have control? It depends on the age. I only had to spank my kids a couple times before they knew I meant business. That said, I haven't had to touch them since, not that I enjoyed it. Now they go to the naughty spot or their room when they are not cooperating. It's rare. I agree with getting down on your knees and having eye contact. Watch a few episodes of Super Nanny and try some of her techniques, they work!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:18 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

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