My Husband and I are really upset with the way his children(two girls) are being raised by their BM.
She lives in this weird duplex thing where they live on the upper level of this house and there's another apartment on the lower lever. Anyway its a pretty small two bedroom. The older child(12) has her own bedroom and BM shares with the other child (8) but doesn't actually sleep in the room,she sleeps on the couch! The house is so dirty and messy!! and stinks of cat litter! BM doesn't care to be a very clean tidy person and so the children are following this example.
BF and I are really clean and keep our house almost perfect at all times. We have a nice 3 bedroom house that the kids love to come to with beds and space for all. I have a daughter of my own and we have two kids together. The kids all love each other to death and get along well. (we also have two dogs LOL)
The kids complain that they don't like their house and that BM is mean,tired,crappy and smokes all the time. Doesn't ever want to do anything and basically ponds them off on the weekend with Grandparents or to go play(roam the town) with their friends. They also complain that BM wakes them up 20 mins before they have to be to the bus and she just yells all morning for them to hurry up and she cant drive them to school.
BF picked them up Friday from school and said that they looked like homeless kids. Hairs not combed or clean, holes in clothes and funky clothes.
Here's the other problem. Tonight BF asked them to clean up some stuff and the kids started throwing a fit and saying that they feel like we are always telling them to clean and they feel like we are always telling them they are bad cause they can't clean and we are saying bad stuff about BM and all the stuff she does. (we don't , we just listen to what they tell us and agree that its bad)
I don't want them to feel like this at all but there seems to be a fine line here between Respect,responsibility,cleaning up after yourself, helping out and just plain old Lazy rotten brats that don't ever have to lift a finger with BM. ALL they do is watch tv ALL day,NO JOKE.
What do we do??? She wont switch roles with us,even though she know's she probably should and she says "when the judge say's so" We don't want to go through that long draining battles in court and I don't think the kids would appreciated it either. But of course that's what she wants to happen, she wants the kids to hates us and make it look like we are hurting her and she had no other choice but to have the kids less.
I like to think the we are clearly the better choice. I'm not claiming to be perfect but we come across way better as a family and just in every way in general. Plus they have a brother and a sister with us that they love so much.
Any Suggestions please would help so much. This is so difficult and I don't know if we just have to accept the fact that the girls will be raised in such inadequate environment.
Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jun. 3, 2012 in General Parenting
Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:12 AM on Jun. 3, 2012
Answer by BrawnwynII at 1:12 AM on Jun. 3, 2012
Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:18 AM on Jun. 3, 2012
Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:20 AM on Jun. 3, 2012
Answer by Hollyhock. at 1:29 AM on Jun. 3, 2012
Answer by BrawnwynII at 1:41 AM on Jun. 3, 2012
Answer by BrawnwynII at 1:44 AM on Jun. 3, 2012