Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I hate being a single mom

I love my baby to pieces, I spend everything I have on her. But I'm lonely as hell. Her dad and I split up about a year ago but I haven't dealt with it very well. I miss him and I miss us being a family, and this weekend is the second time I'm going to let him take our daughter for the day (he hasn't been able to in a long time). I spend so much time around my baby that I don't know what to do when she's not around. How should I spend that time? What can I do to get past this dark moment in my life?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • do something for yourself so get a manicure or get your hair done.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 8:13 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • im married and i was the same way. i am a sahm and the first few times i let someone babysit my son for just a few hours...i was totally lost. my dh and i went to dinner the first time we got a babysitter and all we could talk about was our baby. the next time your baby goes with her dad, do something for youself. anything. even if its a soak in the tub. but you really need to take time for yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • That's the problem. I don't have many friends and I don't have much money. He was my best friend and he barely wants to hang out with me anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get out there and have some fun. Do not sit around waiting for someone. While he has your daughter this weekend, go meet people... Go to the mall, go see a movie, go dancing, whatever.. just get out. Or if you don't like that, do something nice and quiet for yourself. Get your hair done, your nails, get a DVD and watch it in the dark. just relax.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • With all do respect get a life. First off you want friends but you posted this anonymously. There isn't anything to be shame of. If you reveal yourself you may get friends in your state by meeting them on Cafemom. What you are going thorugh is normal but let your childs father go. He apparently has moved on. Steve Harvey ( The actor) has a book out called, " Act like a lady and think like a man." You need to get a tad bit tougher and focus on you. Join groups. What do you like? Join a scrap booking club. You love your daughter take her photos and make scrap books with other moms. You will gain friendship. Join a nice decent personal ad. Like match maker. Not the personals where guys aren't screened very well. You don't need a jerk. Don't get serious anytime soon. You need to make friends with men and women. It sucks and hurts being a single mom. Look busy and happy when you see her dad. Some guys like to see you down.
    Godswk

    Answer by Godswk at 8:30 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I posted this anonymously because I wanted to. And yeah, it may not be something to be ashamed of but I haven't gotten there yet. I'm not ashamed of my daughter, I just haven't wrapped my head around the fact that I'm going to be a single parent. It's not easy for everyone to come to grips with, ya know? The fact that things didn't turn out the way I always hoped and dreamed? It's tough. Also, I posted this here because these are my inner thoughts. Anyone who knows me in real life would think I'm happy and secure because I act that way for my daughter. And that's important to me to be that way, and it would tear me apart if anyone else knew how awful I really feel about it. Thanks for the tough love though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Meet ppl online if you can't get out and meet them. That way when you do get time to get out on your own you can email someone and ask them to go to a free museum with you or see if there are any free classes given at the library or book discussion groups. I have a friend and we have a picnic at the beach bc neither of us can afford to go eat out. You could volunteer somewhere. You can meet a lot of great ppl that way. You just have to learn to network. You can do a MOMS search for CM in your area and meet for a chat or to hang out. See the MOMS tab at the top of the screen and do a search that way.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:16 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I am a single mom myself and I love my daughter very much, she is little over a year old, her dad is minimal involved in her life, so it is she and I all the time,  Honestly, I miss her when she is gone, but I enjoy the time to sleep without the listening ear all night and like you it took me a really long time to get over her dad and there are days I am lonely and miss him but I believe everything happens for a reason so I try to let it go.  I am not ready for a new relationship mainly because I don't have the time to date, work and be a good mommy and I will not bring a man  into her life for him only to be gone, so I have decided for now to be single and enjoy watching her grow up and when she is away I do things for me...although I always end up getting her something anyway. Take each day as it comes and remember

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • you are not only a mom but a woman too.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • And I feel your pain totally.  I understand that you didn't think you would ever be a single mom and wonder sometimes how you got here and you look at your child and your heart over flows with love but it is hard.   I know and live this with you.  I like you have people that believe I am always happy and for the most part I am but there are days that life just gets to me too.  You will get through this, just wait, you will look back and wonder how you did it.  

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN