Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need advice...badly...

I'm really thinking about leaving my husband. He's completely lazy, treats me like a child.
I work 40 hours a week, take care of our 2 month old, cook, clean and do laundry. The only thing I ever ask of him is to pick her up from daycare. If he gets mad at me, he takes the television away from me, the phone, computer...everything.
I just don't think I should put up with this kind of crap. He told me yesterday that I was "subordinate" to him...WTF, I really can't take much more.
I don't want to have sex with him, or even be around him for that matter. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Seek marriage counseling. Also start taking steps to protect yourself if the marriage does fail. Get a bank account in your own name, for example. It sounds as though you should already be able to support yourself if needed. But first try to save your marriage by getting counseling.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:23 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Wow! I would have left him long before now. I'm sorry you're going through that. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Have you thought about counseling? Has he always been like that or just recently? I would defnitely try to do everything I could to fix the problems for the baby's sake. That's just my opinion though. I'm not in your situation so it's hard for me to give you advice. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I think that you already have your answer. It is just about whether or not you want to go through with actually leaving him. Good luck:)

    Answer by micrespo at 9:27 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • What if he won't go to counseling?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I would say counseling, if he won't go, you go on your own so you have some moral support. He can't take things away from you, because you're not a child.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:30 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Is this for real??? He TAKES things away from you? Honestly I think this behavior is way beyond counseling...was he always like this? I think that you are the one who needs counseling and that you definitely need OUT of this relationship. Nobody should be treated this way and if you have been putting up with this kind of behavior for 1 day it's too long. I am speechless.

    Answer by stepmom929 at 9:36 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • You punch him in his face with a frying pan! He's controling , that's what his problem is. He's abusive! Men who treat women like this are abusive! Girl, you got more restraint than I do. Get you a restraining order and give him the boot in the order and make sure he just takes his clothes when a Sheriff is present . Also in the order check the boxes off that leaves you the car and for him to provide for you and the child while he's out and tell the judge you want counseling for him when it's time to go to court. You are not a child, you're a grown ass woman who's helped pay for everything in that house.Don't take that crap honey and if he's not willing to change kick him to the curb!!!!

    Answer by Angie32Red at 9:53 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I have been there and when I left I felt so much better about myself. Noone needs to be treated like this. I left my exhusband almost for the same reason and I even moved three stated away. Now a am married to the most wondreful man

    Answer by helpme910 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I'm sorta for the frying pan in the face thing! Seriously, are you the breadwinner, could you separate? He sounds demeaning and you are NOT anyone's subordinate. I say separate or leave him. If you think there's no chance he'll change, I'd leave him.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2009


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.