Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you deal with the mother-in-law or significant others mom?

Okay, my bf and I have been living with his mother for the last 6 months. she seriously gets on my nerves. she leaves dirty glasses and trash EVERYWHERE and expects my bf and I to clean up after her. I can understand that she wants the house clean, which is no big deal since I'm not working, but its crazy I'm not her maid!!! the other thing is I haven't even had the baby yet and shes telling me how to raise him!! I feel bad that she drives me so crazy but I have to tell her how I feel especially because I don't want her in the delivery room. any suggestions on how to go about this?

Answer Question

Asked by gettingfat89 at 9:48 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Talk to your BF about it. IT doesn't pay to have two grown women in the house seriously. Just make it clear you don't want in there. But if you mom is going to be in their with then maybe she can in their too. Its only fair. Sad to say I didn't have my MIL or mom in the room with like I wanted too. They miss two birth because we live out of state. Good LUCK

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • No house is big enough for two families. I really dont' want to sound like a crap head, but you are living in her house. If you don't like her opinions, you don't have to live there. Maybe she sees you picking up her mess as your way of paying for your keep. If you don't want her in the room, tell her so. If you don't want to pick up her mess, tell her so.

    Answer by navy-wife at 9:58 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • well talk to her let her know how u feel. especially that your pregnant. and maybe she wants u to help around the house because u live there. trust me i been there n it wasnt my bf mom it was only his sister , her 3 kids her bf and the bf brother. n i if ididnt clean everyday the dishes n all that she will get mad. n i told my bf about that because i dont want to be cleaning no ones mess. espeaciialy pregannt. and now i moved away . lol. hope u talk to her and ur bf too.

    Answer by Perez18 at 10:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • i agree with navy wife if you dont like her house dont stay there i lived with my mil and i couldnt taake it so i moved out if you dont want her in the delivery tell her that you just want your bf there she has to repesct that because that will be your time and it should be special to you

    Answer by symle456 at 10:04 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I do agree with navy-wife. I would definately try to move before the baby is born because it will only get worse. As far as the delivery room, tell her NO WAY. My MIL wanted to be in the delivery room and I flat out told her that it was my body and I get to say who is in the room. One statement I hear was "If you were not in the room when the baby was conceived then you do not need to be in the delivery room". If you decide you want YOUR mother in the room does not mean you have to have her in the room. You are the one in labor and while it may be your bf's baby too I believe it is ultimately up to the mother. You don't need anyone in there who is going to be a distraction.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 10:08 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • i live with my boyfriend his step grandma and his grandfather. we have the basement of the house but we all share a kitchen. i clean because i dont work and i only go to school. i just told her that because i am living there doesnt mean she should leave her mess knowing i will clean it. she didnt before i lived there. we get alnog better now because we go to hockey games together

    Answer by jparker289 at 10:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I agree with Navy Wife. Sounds like she wants you to earn your keep in a not so nice way. Maybe you can talk to her about it. But, it is her house so the best thing would probably be to deal with it or move out. As far as the delivery room issue, that's totally different. Who is in the room should be up to you and you only. Not wanting her in there is not being disrespectful in any way, that's your privacy and you shouldn't have to explain to anyone why you would not want them there. That's what the waiting room is for : ) You may want to talk to your SO before comfronting her about anything too. We have some MIL issues and sometimes I feel like i'm putting my husband in an akward position when it comes to her. Not a good feeling. Wrong or right, you don't want him to feel like he has to pick sides between the woman who gave birth to him and the woman who's giving birth to his child. Handle with care!

    Answer by Mommy0425 at 11:02 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I can sympathize. I don't get a long great with my mom-in-law. We used to get along ok, but now I see her as really immature and a bad influence on my husband and I am even resentful of her. I am just glad she lives over 200 miles away. I have to remember that she did raise the man I fell in love with, so she can't be that bad. He has good qualities that I know he learned from her so I have to be the bigger person and just let the bad feelings go.Just be firm with her and tell her how you feel. If you try to get your boyfriend to talk to her, he might see it as you trying to cause trouble between him and his fam. I know my husband would feel that way. (It sucks cuz I never have an ally and I am always seen as the odd man out by his fam, but oh well. I am who I am. )Anyway, just tell her how you feel and hopefully she will understand and stop treating you like her maid. If not, maybe you can find a way to move out? Good luck!

    Answer by blue-eyedmama at 11:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.