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How do you college moms with unsupprtive hubbys do it?

I'm attending college full time and have two kids and one in preschool. My husband is unemployed. My husband complains that he has to take me to class twice a week. I try to study but the kids and him will not let me, he will come flip my chair over just so i can notdo what i need to. He sleeps all day and games all night. I'm attending school, watching the kids, taking care of the house, and trying to study. No one will let me. Hubby says he wants to see me fail, and that I'M interfearing with HIS days, and that I'm selfish for doing so.

How can i manage my time? How can i get him to see this is for a better life? How can I make him stop hitting me and calling me cruel names?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • How do you get money for rent?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • What does that have to do with the question at all? Thats kind of snarky.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Did he go to school?

    You know, it really ticks me off. I was completely supportive of my DH while he was in school, and now he's paying for mine! It took him 5 years to get the 2 degrees and 3 certificates, now he's making upward to $30 an hour, and gets paid for up to 130 hrs a week!


    Girl, you're trying to do what's best for your family. If he can't support that, I'd try to stick it out as long as I could, but jeez, when it gets to the point where you're struggling to pass with your standards, I'd confront the fact he's not working, and until he is supporting you and the family and paying the bills too, then he can leave you alone and let you make the better life. If he still doesn't like it, I'd definitely kick him to the curb.

    And darlin', that's abuse. Hitting and names calling? He's not helping the family in any way. Make him leave. Get a restraint if you need one.

    Answer by matobe at 10:17 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • He dropped out of school. Twice. And is demanding to take my student loan money to buy a MOTORCYCLE...... *sob* I dont want to pay his bills but he threatens me, and is so nasty, he would hurt me if i left. Thats why I'm going to school. So that i can leave aned support myself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • ok, you really need to leave him!! someone like that is not benificial to you or your children! if your working that hard to provide and do the right things and he doesn't even want you to succeed, he's a piece of sh**!! i'm sure you can do better than that! you shouldn't be asking how to manage your time better you should be asking how to get rid of him lol... i understand that things can be scary, but they have safe places for these kind of situations.. and you can qualify for assistance, and you can live by your student loans.. don't let him get a motorcycle... i know things can be really hard, and noone probably understands your situation.. but honey... don't put yourself through this, its not fair to let your self hurt like this.. you don't have to put up with this.. you canfind someone that cares and would care for you!! i'm so sorry you have to deal with this! good luck!! xo

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • call the local domestic violence shelter and stay with them. They will help you get to school and find a day care for the kids. You don't need to be sabotaged like that. You are trying to better yourself and he wants you to be down on his level so he can control you. If you get educated then you will see him for what he is (loser) and leave him. Well you see him as what he is (abuser) and you need to get out. He's cruel and not worth the time it takes to tell him so. Make that call and start your life with a clear conscience. He had his chance to be a good husband to you and he chose not to be. Poo on him. You go girl. I'm proud of you. Education will get you out of that mess.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:11 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Really easy.... D-I-V-O-R-C-E. But if you don't want to get that serious..... study at the college library. I did, and it worked.... of course he was super pissed that I wasn't coming home when he thought I should.... so I told him... I have to freaking study, we paid for the classes/books, I've invested my time and effort and if I can't study at home then I'll stay at school.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 12:22 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • well i dont have a husband to not be supportive of me. i'm a single mom. i work, take care of my kid and go to school, for all of you who will have "way to live off the government" comments I'm not on welfare i do it on my own. How can you manage your time? you just have to find a schedule that works for you and your kids. make sure they understand that you have things you have to get done and they have to help out (or stay out of the way). yes, its hard and you'll lose a lot of sleep studying while the kids are in bed but eventually youll finish your degree and it will all be worth it. How do you get him to stop hitting you and calling you nasty names? You leave his ass. If he is abusive to you, you dont need him. there are lots of government programs/grants that will help you with child care etc. so you can get through school. Keep going, it's tough but you can do it!

    Answer by Chandra034 at 12:26 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Sorry but I would be out of there. He sounds like someone who is just going to hold you down in life. You obviously have way more ambition than he does.

    Answer by Magpie75 at 1:29 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

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