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How is this unfair?

Today my ex had to miss school because my daughter got pink eye over the weekend and she has been on those eye drops. According the daycare as long as she has been on them for over 24 hours she can go to daycare. Well I guess they didn't want her there so they called me but I didn't hear my phone go off so they called her dad and he messaged me and I didn't get the message till later but he ended up picking her up.
He is now mad at me because he had to miss school to watch her. I missed work 2 fridays ago when my DS had pink eye and the following Tuesday to take my DD to a specialist (6 month waiting list, couldnt change the time). He never takes the kids to their appts so I am the one ending up missing work if they need to go and I cant get one when I get off work.
He thinks I should have left work to go get her. I told him before we need to take turns. I will miss work then the next time he needs to miss school. He thinks schooling is more important then me keeping my job.
I already missed a lot of May, my DS was sick twice, missed once for DD and I had to miss a full week because I was very sick and couldnt go to work. (I lost my voice among other things adn I talk for 90% of my job).
How is this unfair that he had to miss school? Does he expect me to lose my job just because he chooses not to be a parent? He thinks I'm being unfair. Mind you I am the only one that has missed work when they were sick. It was when I left him, I told him we need to take turns since I need a job and the money to live off of.

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LostSoul88

Asked by LostSoul88 at 4:12 PM on Jun. 4, 2012 in Relationships

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Answers (20)
  • He needs to take his turn same as you. It is no more fair for you to miss work than it is for him to miss school. He helped bring kids into this world, he gets to help take care of them

    Anon, get over yourself. You have no clue what happened. So shut the fuck up.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 4:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • He is simply misinformed. You need to keep repeating yourself until he gets it. One is not more important than another. The important thing is the children are taken care of.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:21 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • You choose to be a single mom, now stop bitching about it. That's what happens when you selfishly decide to divorce without thinking of the kids first. You should have never left him. You dug your grave, now lay in it.

    Answer by Anonymous 6 minutes ago


    What the hell does her being a single mom have to do with her question? Because she isn't with her child's Dad that means he shouldn't have to help take care of HIS child? And really who are you to talk to her that way?


    UGH these stupid anons getting n my nerves lately! ANYWAYS just like you have to deal with missing work for your child he has to deal with missing school for his child. He will just have to get over and take care of his child.
    LoViNmYbAbIeSs

    Answer by LoViNmYbAbIeSs at 4:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • If they told you she'd be ok after being on the meds for 24 hours I wouldn't have gone to get her so tell him he should have said no. It's his own fault he missed class.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • That's what happens when you selfishly decide to divorce without thinking of the kids first. You should have never left him.

    Wow Anon, personally invested in the man's life or something?
    Own the attitude and put a name to that commentary on her marital status.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 4:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • Anon, please try not to be such a disrespectful twunt.

    Lost, sorry things are rough today. He needs to split responsibility with you as equally as possible. Time for him to grow up a little bit.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 4:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • Yes, it should be shared. Unfortunately a lot of men do not think that way though, married, divorced or whatever.


    And, anon:
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 5:14 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • The responsibilities of raising kids is rarely fair. Tell your ex to pullup his panties and get over it. If he is even half the dad he should be, he is going to miss a lot more than just one day of school over the next 15 years. (ie: many nights of sleep, several days on the job, very important phone calls, great seats to games he really wanted to see, the winning touchdown catch to some phenomenal game he was dying to watch, and probably a job interview or two) Cuz lets face it, kids can be a huge inconvenient pain in the butt sometimes. Oh well.... its what we signed on for as parents.

    And FYI, whoever thought up the Twunt name hs an awesome command of the english language!!! LOL
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:41 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • i have the same problem with my kids dad but everyone keeps telling me that i cant force him to be a father... cant force him to help with the kids... hard as it is to be a single parent we have to do whats best for the kids. id find someone else to put as an emergency contact and tell him to grow up. your not being unfair to him at all... he really should take responsibility too and help out... but you cant force it.
    good luck and hope the your kid gets better soon.... and i hope your ex opens his eyes to see what hes missing out on by not being a responsible parent.
    trystons_mommy

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 5:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • I went thru this for years w/ my boys' father. I never could get him on board w/ helping out & we fought a lot about it. At least your ex answered his phone. Mine wouldn't. He's since passed tho, so all that resentment went with him & I see that despite his faults & our problems that he meant a lot to the boys. Sorry I don't have a good suggestion for you, except to keep reminding him the parenting needs to be more evenly split. Record it, b/c you will be replaying it a lot! :p
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:15 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

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