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2 Bumps

I am going to torture my husband, but before I do that I will......


I haven't been feeling the best for the last few days, stomach flu or something. Anyway, I got up, got some toast, hubby left for the hospital to go see his dad. Then it dawned on me that my dd was being unusually quiet. I get up with the intention of seeing where she was at and the phone rings and its my husband. Heres the conversation:

Him: Ahhh honey, sweetie pie (now I am diabetic lol) Ummm I think I left my Mt Dew in Marisa's room.............

Me: WHAT?!?! Oh I hope you are screwing with me honey, sweetie pie!!!!!!

So I run to her room and low and behold she is drinking her daddies pop, I see there was little hope that there wasn't much in it and maybe the toddler goddess will bless me and dd couldn't the bottle, so I ask him....

Me: Was the bottle about empty when you left??

Him: Oh oh....noooooooooo.....

Then I hear him FUCKING LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At first it was a snort,  then silence, the I hear the laughter. Then I hear car horns in the back ground, and then a disembodied voice yelling "you idiot!!" He then seals his fate by saying "no, I only had a few sips before I set it down to change her clothes"  Now my child is bouncing off walls,(I always thought it was just an exaggeration...) she is running about like the damn energizer fucking rabbit.  I am plotting revenge as we speak......ideas?? I want it to be GOOD! He has to work tonight, but I am still plotting revenge and I will seek seek vengeance.....My mental health is at sake ladies, I see a rubber room in a future with a nice brand new white coat, but by DAMN I will not go ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

going crazy


Answer Question

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 4, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • LMAP! I am so sorry MM! That is not cool. DS doesn't bounce off the walls like most kids do so I really don't know what that is like. I hope you come up with a suitable punishment for him!

    Answer by kmath at 4:36 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • First step - Life Insurance.

    Answer by meooma at 4:38 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • FIrst you may want to reword your post so it doesn't get flagged by CM! :p Next, I'm thinking itching powder in his underwear. Cat food in his sandwich. My dau just said laxatives in his drink! And my husb said he wasn't offering a suggestion b/c the guy will be paying for it the rest of his life! lol :p

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • lmbo! agree with mrsmom110 lol itching powder in his underwear sounds hillarious lol

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 5:13 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • sounds like a plan i have been having

    my daughter sensory seekng autism
    it is like she has had three mountain dews all the time

    i have wondered IF i gave her some would it have opposite effect on her
    (like meds for ADHD)

    however if it has regular effects, she would be the bunny

    -as for revenge.... laxative brownie might be taking it too far- but fun to think about

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:16 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • Shes a freaking bunny! Although now, she has calmed down fussy as hell, and to late for a nap, and way to earl;y for bed!

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 7:17 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • Hmm....I would consider dying his clothes pink, or I like the itching powder in his undies idea. Or next time you have plans to go somewhere feed a few Mt.Dews and some candy right before leaving, so that he has to deal with after math (that is what I would do).

    Answer by AF4life at 7:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • I'm voting for laxative brownies.
    I'm a hardcore bitch so personally I'd do worse, but the punishment has to fit the crime. Like maybe a good 30 second swirl of his toothbrush in the toilet bowl. He will never know, but you'll have some secret satisfaction :)

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 9:07 PM on Jun. 4, 2012

  • I think a laxative brownie is FAR too easy on him. Add some fart powder ...

    Answer by winterglow at 5:43 AM on Jun. 5, 2012

  • Last year we were in a prank war and I squirted lemon juice into his mouth when he was sleeping. He came flying up dry heaving and freaking out. That was probably the meanest thing I've done to him.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:25 PM on Jun. 5, 2012

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