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what should i do?

my son cody is four, and today was his first day of preschool. when he got there, he was screaming and crying and he didnt want to leave my side. he latched on to me like velcro. i left thinking he would find a friend and not miss me anymore. but after school was over, i picked him up and his teacher said he was a mess all day and was crying the whole day saying "i miss mommy". when we got home, he told me he didnt want to go back. i am scared because what if the same thing keeps happening? what should i do? i dont want to keep putting him through that.


Asked by SpiderMama123 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • I know this is tough, but it is probably best to keep taking him. He should eventually do better & will enjoy going to preschool. If he doesn't get the opportunity to be away from you in a school setting now, it will only be worse when he's ready to enter kindergarten. If the school & teachers are good, they will be able to help and will be understanding. Best of luck with this. I recently did a field experience in a kindergarten classroom & this one child cried all day everyday, but she eventually got better. I saw a big improvement during my time there. The school counselor was helpful.

    Answer by soccermom0002 at 10:54 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • you have to keep taking him unless you want him velcroed to you for the rest of his childhood. He will get used to it. He NEEDS to get used to it. If you stop taking him now, and he does this same thing at Kindergarten, will you not have him go to school?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • i worked in daycare for 4 years and i saw this all the time!! it is totally normal for kids to go through this. i'll be honest, the first two weeks will probably be horrible. he'll cry everytime you drop him off, but you have to be consistent. if you stop taking him, by the time he gets to kindergarten he'll try the same thing. Let him bring his favorite toy, or a pic of your family for comfort (most preschools allow this, talk to your teacher about it). each day will get easier and easier for him I promise! they all adjust! He will find friends and before you know it you'll be chasing him into the preschool!! I promise you it will get better. i know its hard, i saw it everyday, but i also saw all the kids adjusting great. just be consistent, and always talk up preschool like its the greatest thing in the world. he will be fine! Just dont show him youre upset or he'll feed off of that. good luck!

    Answer by Amanduhpanda at 10:52 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • Why don't you stay with him? Volunteer in the classroom for the first couple weeks, while he gets used to being around new people and trusting them. Take a break from the classroom time to run an errand within the facility and make the break a bit longer each day so he gets used to you being away.

    It is sounding rather traumatic to have his mom apparently abandon him. See what you can do to make the transition better for you both. :)

    Answer by Trinjo at 11:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • I worked in a daycare for about 3 1/2 years, until I had my daughter. Your son, has spent time with you and close family, and children from your family. He is being taken to a different place and is a little scared. It will take a few weeks for him to understand that you will be back for him, tell him to make you a picture, or make a new friend. I do promise you it will get better and its good that he is in preschool. It gives him a type of advantage other kids don't have. Meeting new people, understanding before kindergarten. It will be okay.

    Answer by LizWithAvon at 11:04 PM on Jan. 29, 2009