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I have a 12yr. old daughter who seems to be obssed with her weight she is 119 npounds and she is five foot three how can i explain to her that she is not fat please help i really want to know?

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Asked by auntmeme611 at 11:26 PM on Jan. 29, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (12)
  • That is funny my sd is 12 and we went to the dr and she is 5'1 and weighs 119. She is def not fat. Next time your in the drs office ask him in front of here what her right weight would be. He will tell ya that is right on track! Don't have any advice just thought it was funny being same age and weight, & within an inch of one another.

    Answer by lovinmomto3 at 11:29 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • you can look online too and find weight and height charts, and i am 5'2 and i believe it says something like 120-125... so she is not over weight, maybe find someone who weighs the same and dont tell her why but ask if she thinks that girl is fat and when she says no tell her thats what she looks like.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • My daughter did the same thing at 13 - I took her to a modeling agency - just for fun, they ranted and raved (then hit me privately up for 500) There was no cost for the interview and it was a good ego boost for her.

    Answer by Weeds at 11:37 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • It's quite simple.

    -Just sit down with her and ask here exactly how much would she like to wait?
    -ask to show you a picture of someone she think is the perfect weight
    -have a picture of her to compare to the picture she'll give you/the person she tells you
    - find out how much that person weight
    and do a simple conpare. Something young girls think they are fat because of a SPECIFIC BODY PART. Never push the issue on her. If she hear it from someone other than a parent...
    for more info feel free to e-mail me at:

    Answer by beautyofAvonjob at 11:40 PM on Jan. 29, 2009

  • She's definitely not overweight. Most young women have a distorted view of what they look like. In a study when I was in college, women were asked to look at two pictures of themselves, one was a normal picture, the other was a picture where they made the women look slightly larger than they actually are. When asked "which is the picture of you?" almost all of the women selected the altered one. Showing her charts and having a doctor tell her she's fine will not change how she views herself in the mirror. Encouragement and positive reinforcement (asking her why she feels this way or WHO made her feel this way and counteract those bad thoughts) can help. There's also nothing wrong with someone of any age wanting to be in better shape. Wanting to be healthy is much better than wanting to be skinny. Why not offer to research healthy food choices and exercise with her?


    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:15 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I'm not really sure you can say anything to make her feel like she is skinny! I had the same problem when I was younger and still think I'm fat. I've had 2 children and am 5'5" and weigh 110. It isn't about the weight for me it is what I feel like I look like when I look into the mirror.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Been there done that. At this age tween/teen, they are going through things we didn't till our early twenties. At this age I was so confused, had a loving but abusive father who I felt I needed to 'prove' myself to. But the BEST MOM ALIVE! Try to just talk to her. No specific thing, jump around to different topics, and see what she says. Know that most of the time kids do anything, especially changing their bodies in some form, for attention. Good and/or Bad. Bad attention.? A lot of people don't realize that kids that don't get any attention are so starved they will get in trouble because at least Mom, Dad, who ever will holler, spank, ground, what ever and they'll get at least some attention. Some times it's a boy or a girl that she's friends with but doesn't feel like she's as pretty - what ever. Maybe there's another reason, just below the beautiful outside! Hope things work out


    Answer by Sweet_Peach at 12:04 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • ask her what she thinks is the right weight for her height ( and why if she says something ridiculous like 80 lbs). Tell her guys like women who can stand against a strong wind and not get blown away! I remember wanting to kill myself when I hit 130 lbs at 5'3". Of course I was 30 at the time not a teen! As you can see, I didn't but many girls have self image problems at her age. If dad is around I would suggest he mention how great she looks. It's important she feel good about herself and it always helps if a guy says she looks good until she can say it to herself.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:58 PM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Wow,Truely I'd Love to be like that,Ive been underweight my whole life and It hurts being called anorexic.Theres things i cant do,Like cedar point,Though im 14 going on 15,i cant go on half the rides because im too short.Im 5'1 and weigh 95 pounds,around that.I hate being underweight.Theres girls that wanna be your daughter hun.Tell her that.

    Answer by Niddyann1121 at 2:15 PM on Jan. 31, 2009

  • wow i feel short i am 23 and 5'4 and your daughter is 12 and an inch shorter than me WOW anyway she isnt fat she is right where she should be but its going to be hard to tell her not to worry about her weight with barbies and tv and everything else the image outhere is to be as skinny as possible

    Answer by mommam58122 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 1, 2009

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