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My daughter's best friend has been a really bad influence on her...My daughter and her best friend are both 4 years old. We have been friends with the girl's mom and dad for over 2 years now. However, this other child has no discipline in her home and I am uncomfortable with her influence on my daughter.

She has told my daughter that she is not going to be her friend because she is not the boss in our household, that she can do whatever she wants at her house. She painted my daughter's lips with nail polish, puts lip gloss in her hair, sprayed Febreze air freshener in her face, colored an autographed poster in our home, refuses to clean up her messes when she plays here. My daughter is not allowed to play at her house unless I am there since the 2 incidences with air freshener and nail polish, but even here at our home, she is always telling my daughter she won't be her friend if she doesn't do what she says. We enjoy having the other family over, and the girls love each other, but I can not have my daughter growing up to be a brat. Suggestions on how to handle the situation?


Asked by AprilDJC at 12:51 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 20 (8,524 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • You can't do much about the girl when she is in her own home. But that doesn't mean you can't set the rules in your house. If you hear her say something you don't like or is inappropriate let it be known. Use the 1-2-3 go home, end of play time at my house.

    If she doesn't like it she won't come back, but most the time they get the hint and start to behave better. Expect more of her and she will most likely step up, you are the adult, it is your home, you set the rules and the limits. My kids have all had one friend behaves in a way that isn't ok with me, mind you I am very lax when it comes to a lot of things, but I still have rules, and everyone of them got the message. I am not saying spank or stick her in the corner, when she does something just say..."this is your first warning, that (whatever it is) is not ok in my home" next time say this is your second get the drift, and then send her home

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:53 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I'd tell the other mom from now on that for different reasons discipline is even more important now in our home. And that kids are allowed to play at your house but they must help pick up and stay neat to begin with and throughout play no matter who joins when or who leaves whenever. I used to have a rule that only one toy per child could be used by kids at my home no matter if the toy belonged to a certain child or if it was our own toyl And I used to blame all of the kids lightly when something happened. When kids play and when a child or multiple children disagree or bully, parents should step in to decrease the arguing and bullying that usually happens with kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Find your girl another friend. Eventually she will branch out and want to play with other kids.....speed up the process and find her new playmates!

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 1:15 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • She does attend preschool for half days, but she isn't interested in the other kids. This girl has been her friend for half her life, literally, and they play together 2-3 times a week. However, this other girl really does control her parents. If they come over to play games or watch movies or something and the daughter decides she's ready to go home, she tells them she wants to go home and they will stop whatever they are doing and take her home right then. Its really irritating to see them doing this. You'd think they would know better with her mom being an RN and her dad in the Air Force, but no. All of my daughter's other friends have moved, so we don't see them as much any more and she is EXTREMELY shy, I'm just not sure what to do about this particular friend because I can't let my daughter go to their house and my hubby can't handle her being here lol.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:19 AM on Jan. 30, 2009