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How bad did i screw up???

to all my on going question i think this one might be the most important 1 it starts My now x ask me to go over with our Baby. I was quiet cause we just broke it off and he came to me and kiss me and then one thing to another we spent the night togheter. I ended asking to give us another try after many tears he confesed that the reason we became more distance was that he thought i was gonna leave him. I couldnt stand him in my pregnancy. I told him i would never leave him and he says no to gving us antoher go at it. I was once more crushed and i had just started to get better. Once we went out to the store i keep talking to him about many things and i end up yelling and kicking him out of the car. Now he is in an additude wiht me and doesnt know if we can even be friends but enemies. I dont want this and i explane because of our lil one. SO how bad did i screw up n I dont know if we can still a chance for us? Or just let go?

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5KRAZYMOMMA7

Asked by 5KRAZYMOMMA7 at 2:32 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • http://www.cafemom.com/answers/119381/Is_there_still_hope_for_my_relationship

    http://www.cafemom.com/answers/119398/my_relatioship

    these were my old questions if u have any other question just let me know
    5KRAZYMOMMA7

    Answer by 5KRAZYMOMMA7 at 2:36 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • do you relly want to be with someone who doesnt seem to want to be with you? you can do better than that. if possible remain friends for the sake of your child but past that let it go.
    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 2:49 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • LET IT GO, YOU WERE ALREADY NOT TOGETHER AND THEN TO BLOW UP LKE THAT ITS NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE IN THE RELATIONSHP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • This would be a better time to focus on yourself, your schooling, and your child.

    Drama is not good for you or your child.

    He has said "No" - you need to make peace and move on.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:33 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Take a break from him and as Wimsey says, work on your and your child's lives right now. Take charge, get money in the bank, get training for a good job.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:28 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • in my opinion, if you really deep down wanted the man you wouldnt have kicked him outta the car, that is instinct, that is a gut reaction, just try to be friends...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 7:52 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Wimsey gave a great answer. Focus on yourself, your little one and school. Something it took me many many years to figure out. I didnt need a man to be a whole person. I could be happy and independent all by myself. Get yourself together. Learn to live on your own. Get yourself in to a position that you can support yourself financially and then find someone. You will be suprised on how your view will change on men and what you want in one when you are independent and can support yourself and your child. Dont settle just because you dont want to be alone. The guy said "No". PICk yourself up, dust yourself off.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:12 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • The "mess up" didn't happen when you kicked him out of the car. The "mess up" happened when you mistook sexual attraction for love. Love has much more to do with lifetime committment than with physical attraction. A man who really loves you will be happy to commit to you. He will love you for the person you are on the inside, not for how you look on the outside nor for what you can give him now. I would consider this affair over. I would concentrate on deciding what character traits in a husband are most important to me. Then, when the next guy comes along looking for a woman, my first question to him would be "Are you looking for a wife?" If the answer is no, then tell him you are not interested. If the answer is yes, spend a long time getting to know his character. Is he honest, kind, tender-hearted, self-controlled, hard-working? If he meets those standards, then he is worth considering as a husband.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:36 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Begging and crying for a man will only push him away. Most men don't do well with clingy, whiney women. Finish your schooling......concentrate on that and your child.....don't whine and cry and beg him for ANYTHING. When you talk to him, be polite and calm. You need to find your inner strength, become independent and successful......... then he will come back.......but by that time you may be to strong to even want him!
    MyMayBaby_Chloe

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 8:36 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • You've already set the precedent on how he's allowed to treat you. If you step back and look at the situation from his side, or ours, you'll see how you appear. You're begging, pleading, fighting, and acting "crazy"....why would he want to be in that kind of relationship? Especially when he can steer clear of that crap and still sleep with you when he wants to. Maybe you don't know a lot about guys...but that's what is on his mind and you did exactly what he wanted you to do.

    I also learned, the hard way, that showing how desperate you are to have them in your life, not only pushes them away, but makes you look(and feel) like a loser. As a mother, and a woman, you are BETTER than that. It doesn't sound like you guys had a healthy relationship to begin with. I think the best thing to do is to step back from the situation, and learn from it.

    Good luck.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:28 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

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