Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you get your SO to listen to you?

My SO is about to by a $30,000 truck that he will only need to work with occasionally. We are not married and he is the primary bread winner. But I am in charge of all of our finances and bill pay and I know this payment will break us. We have already eaten through our savings. I just want him to think about what he is doing and value my opinion about it. He seems to just do what he wants, or what the bank will let him do without taking my advice. This is not the first time we have been on the brink of disaster due to his bad business decisions. So my question, do I take matters into my own hands and sabatoge this deal or do I stand by my man and hope that we can pull through.

 
missv66

Asked by missv66 at 9:21 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • The question really is: do you stay in a relationship with a man who continues to pull you into the brink of disaster and back again like a yo-yo. Do you stay with a man who does what he wants anyway without listening to your valued input. I could be wrong, but my guess is that you are what keeps him from totally doing things that will ruin him financially or otherwise. A keeper. Ask yourself if you want a partner or another person to look after. Hard stuff I know. But before you get married or stay longer you need to be honest about what you want out of a relationship. You deserve to have a say in finances, financial security (not about being rich but about having a realistic view of what is really doable) and you deserve a SO who treats you as if you are significant. That is the conversation I would start with. The truck is a symptom of the problem but is not the real issue.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:51 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • If you are in charge of finances then you print out your budget and sit down like you would in any business meeting and show him you cant afford it. Show him where things would be cut, food, rent, utilities, entertainment etc etc. Make it clear if he still chooses to make this choice despite knowing the facts then you arent going to forget hes the one who put your family in debt. Hopefully he will listen.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:23 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • You could always ask him to be "in charge" of finances for a bit so he experiences the stress of it. I think its easier for them to spend more when they dont always feel the stress of the money problems
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • Sit him down and show him all the finances and the money coming in and maybe he will get the picture....Just like you sit down a child. Cause isn't that what all men are? Children? LOL Ok sorry about that but in most cases it's true!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • these are not the times to be worrying about a new truck, and i would tell him that either he looks for a cheaper truck or he can forget it. There are plenty of deals out there to get a cheaper truck, he doesn't need to be spending that kind of money.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:58 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • I think this is the perfect reason to be married. He doesn't HAVE to listen to anything you say or take what you say into account. It's his credit. It's another huge reason you two should have separate accounts and separate bills until you are married.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • if your SO has no respect for your opinion, ya'll have bigger problems than this truck. you prepared to live the rest of your life being disreagarded? because that's the stage you are setting.
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 10:00 AM on Jan. 30, 2009

  • To be brutally honest....sabotage it! Especially.....if you know it will hurt your family in the long run. This from a mama who's been married to this situation for a very long time. Right now...stuck in a joint mortgage...with selling not making sense at this time. My dh managed with his irresponsible decisions, AND not listening to me who does the budget around here....to screw our finances. Last night...1st time in 15 years....he called me an effin b*tch in front of out 13 yo dd....a few times I might add. Bcz he was making another decision to bankrupt us. What he said to me.... may not seem like a big deal to some....but, there are many other issues going on here...I'm completely heartbroken & in tears this am!


    I advise you to take a step back...and, a long hard look at your relationship.  Please don't go thru your relationship thinking.....wtf was I thinking...and years down the road...be trapped!

    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 10:38 AM on Jan. 30, 2009