My 18 year old son has been "going out" with the same girl since 8th grade. Although I admit I was a little jealous af first, after all this time I see how well they match and I was accepting the fact that someday she would probably be my daughter in law. They are both intellectual, and each other's equal in school. They plan to attend the same college three hours away. Tonight my son told me that she feels like her whole life has been planned out and she thinks she'd like to "live a litte". He says nothing will change for him...he will wait on her to come back. He says that he's told her he just wants her to be happy.
My son is a sweetheart but I see the fear of losing her...his world has revolved around her. I remember what this devastation was like...but at 18, he can't see past a the life he planned with her. How should I talk to him to make him know it will eventually be okay?
Asked by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Jan. 30, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)
Answer by admckenzie at 8:28 PM on Jan. 30, 2009
Answer by MamaCatCat at 1:42 PM on Feb. 2, 2009
Just because she wants to "live a little" doesn't mean she wants to party and sleep around!!!! Gosh, give the girl some credit--better now than after she is married. I would encourage the son to see that there is more to him than her. That until he is happy being with himself, he really isn't ready to be a couple with another person. NO other person can make us truly happy and if we "learn" to depend on another for that, we are setting ourselves up for a lot of pain. Such dependence does lead to suicidal thoughts---I would encourage him to explore a little on his own--try some new activities etc. Encouraging him " to wait and see" is to encourage him to waste his life waiting for another to make him happy---though it may be just months---he still has a life to live for himself.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Feb. 2, 2009
And whatever you do please don't tell him he can find another girl!!!!!! I think that is the stupidest thing to tell a person in such a situation!!! He is hurting but encourage him to develop his own life. If she just wants to know what it is like to make her own decisions, more power to her. I don't think it means she wants to "party"! It sounds like she is maturing and wants to spread her wings a bit and know what it is like to be an adult. Better she does it now. But it hurts to see your son hurt!!! I know!! Just encourage him to hang in there and take some baby steps towards being himself and getting to know that person.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Feb. 2, 2009
Answer by mambearwhitt4 at 1:39 PM on Feb. 3, 2009
Answer by TeaAndrews at 9:18 PM on Feb. 3, 2009
Answer by NannyB. at 10:36 AM on Feb. 5, 2009
hay it's hard to know what to do when thay hurt you do too some times time is whats needed try to keep him busy, make shure he not thanking of harming his salf
Answer by tearsao5jboys at 6:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2009
Next question overall
if your child is homeschooled can they get a bachlers degree?